A Walk in Central Park
by faith4ever131
Summary: Maria is a rich society girl in Manhattan. But she wanted to be free. Free from being proper and perfect. Once she gets close to Jack Kelly she wants more than just freedom. She wants love, happiness, something to live for and she wants him too. But the rules won't allow it...
1. Chapter 1

"We never should have moved back to this dirty city in the first place!" My father ranted as he paced back and forth in the living room.

"Jonathan dear," My mother said trying to calm him down. "please relax."

I sat in my chair quietly not making a sound. I chewed on my bottom lip. It was bad habit I had whenever I felt awkward, uncomfortable or nervous.

"Coming back to Manhattan was a huge mistake!" He said.

I stared at my legs. My father was obviously having some problems with being back in Manhattan. We had only moved back here for his work. I didn't see the problem. But than again there sometimes was no reason for my father on have a rant... no reason at all. He continued to pace back and suddenly my father stops than and looks down at the floor.

"I forgot to get the newspaper this morning." He said.

This was how my fathers rants ended, he'd just think about something else and forget about his rant. It was almost as if nothing ever happened.

"Maria darling would you be so kind as to go and get the paper?" My mother asked me.

"Yes mother."

I rose from my seat and walked out of the apartment. I tried to shake the awkward feeling I had felt. I pushed my way through the crowded sidewalks searching for a newsie. Manhattan was always crowded. I pushed my way through crowds of people hurrying the tother way. It seemed strange, usually there was a newsboy on every corner. I continued walking until finely I heard

"Extra! Extra!"

I look and see a boy who is about my age carrying a huge bundle of newspapers and screaming out the headline. I studied him for a moment. He was a handsome boy with tan skin, brown hair and hazel eyes. He was also wearing a cowboy hat... okay.

"I'll take one!" I said walking over to him.

He passed me one of his newspapers and smiled at me. I smiled back and handed him the money I owed him.

"Thank you." I said.

I turned around and started to walk away.

"Wait!" He said.

I turned around.

"I didn't catch your name."

"Never through it." I joked.

He smiled. "Well mines Kelly, Jack Kelly."

Jack held out his hand.

"Maria." I said shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Yeah... a pleasure."

He looked at me his eyes never leaving mine.

"I should be getting home. Hopefully I'll see you soon Jack."

"See you soon."

I walked away. I read the headline as I walked away. As long as my dad had the newspaper and some coffee things he would stop ranting for a bit. The newspaper would take things off his mind, it always did. I looked back at Jack.

At least I knew someone now. But to be fair I don't remember knowing anyone when I was young ether. We used to live in Manhattan until I was twelve. My parents would keep me inside most of the time, teaching me to be a "proper lady". They would teach me things that are really useless in life like tea edict. It's not important to anyone but rich snobs (I guess that you could call my mother that). We'd moved to New Jersey for my fathers business. But now his business has just brought us back.

I walked to the apartment building. It's a nice day out with a summer sun and a cool breeze. I walk up to my building and saw a girl who looked to be my age or a little younger smoking a cigar outside. My mothers words rung like a bell in my head "smoking for a lady like yourself is improper and strictly for men". But the girl didn't seem rich with her tattered and old cloths. She also didn't seem to have a problem smoking in front of everyone. She had beautiful brown curls and brown eyes. She was also wearing a key around her neck... Strange sure but I have no reason to question it. I felt a hand on my shoulder interrupting my thoughts. I jump once I feel the coldness of the hand.

"Maria where on earth have you been?" My mother asked sternly.

"I had trouble finding a newsboy."

"No excuses! Now get inside!" She barked.

I hurried into the lobby.

"What were you doing? You had us worried sick!" She rambled.

I rolled my eyes.

"I was just looking for a newsie, that all!" I said.

She led me upstairs lecturing me the whole time. I just ignored it.

"...and Maria watch your posture!" She said in conclusion.

I stepped inside of my apartment.

"Father your newspaper." I said.

He already had his coffee out and ready. I handed him the paper. Now that he had his paper he seemed more calm.


	2. Chapter 2 Imperfect Family

I woke up the next day to mother shaking me awake.

"Wake up!" She barked. "Wake up!"

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"We must get you ready."

"Umm... Why?"

My mother didn't answer. Instead she yanked me out of bed and into a corset. She begun to lace up the corset. My mother yanked on the corset laces.

"Not so tight mother!" I said barely breathing.

"Beauty is pain. If you want to be a lady you will have to ignore it."

"Maybe I don't want to be a lady!"

She pulled the laces tighter. It was like dying from lack of oxygen! Other than that she ignored what I'd said. She finished with the corset. It was so tight I could dearly breath! I slid into a violet dress. Mother left the room. I rolled my eyes.

"Beauty is pain." I mumbled mimicking her.

I wished that I could loosen the corset but I would need help for that and the last thing I needed was another lecture.

I walked out of the room. I looked over to my father he hadn't gotten the paper yet. Good I could talk to the one person I know here.

"Father?" I said.

He looked over at me.

"Yes Maria?"

"May I go get your morning paper?" I asked hopefully.

"Of course. It does gives you a chance to see the city again and get to know it better."

I smiled. As insane as my father could be he was also a nice guy. My mother started to open her mouth.

"Goodbye!" I said as I walked out the door.

I was lucky to get out before my mother could get a word in. I walked down the hall which led to the stairs and walked down to the lobby. I kept checking behind me to be sure that mother wasn't following. I hurried out of the building. I continued walking. I made sure I was going in the same direction as yesterday. If I remembered right newsies usually stayed in the same place each day. But than again it had been many years so things can change. I found the street corner that Jack had been on the day before. He wasn't there! It looked like the same one. Was it the same one?

"Came back for another pape?" I heard from behind me.

I gasped then turned around and saw Jack.

"Oh... Hi." I said.

"Sorry I scared you."

"No don't worry. I scare easy." I laughed.

"So you want to take a walk?"

"Sure why not."

He had less papers than yesterday only about three left.

"Good headline?" I asked.

He looked surprised.

"You know headlines?"

"Yeah. My father always reads the news paper, always. He thought me the difference between a good headline and a bad one." I explained.

"He's a big newspaper guy huh?"

"Yes. But he's not obsessed! That wouldn't be normal."

Jack laughed.

"It's not like the papes are going anywhere."

"Can you imagine a world with out well the World or Sun or Journal?"

"It's not like you can replace them with anything."

He smiled at me. He had this nice big warm smile.

"Hey Jack!" I herd someone shout.

I looked over and saw a boy with jet black hair and brown eyes.

"Hey Race." Jack said.

He walked over to us.

"Maria this is a friend of mine Racetrack Anthony Higgins." Jack said.

"It's just Racetrack or Race. I hate my name." Race said.

"It's very nice to meet you Race." I said holding out my hand.

Race shook my hand. I knew two people now! I'd never really had friends so it was nice to maybe have a few.

"So Race how goes it?" Jack asked.

"You no the usual." Race answered. "Just sold my last paper."

Race took a cigarette and lit it.

"You want a smoke?" He asked me as he took a puff.

"I don't smoke. My mother said it wasn't lady like."

Race smiled and I could tell he was holding in a laugh.

"But I'll try one." I said holding out my hand.

Race looked surprised. I understood that I might have to get these peoples approval. I was up to the challenge. Race handed me cigarette. I put it in my mouth breathed and breathed in. This turned into a coughing fit.

"Thats ok, it happens to everybody on the first try." Race told me.

I felt accepted... I'd never exactly felt excepted. Even though I'd just meet these people they seemed so mush different than I was used to. While the rich you had to fit in be proper and perfect, this was something else.

"So where are you from? I've never seen you around here since yesterday." Jack asked me.

"I'm originally from here. We moved away when I was a child for my father work. We moved back just a week ago." I explained.

Jack nodded. "Why did you come back?"

"His business of course."

At times my fathers work dominated his life. It seemed more important than me or my mother... Lately more than ever. It was almost as if we didn't matter sometimes.

A little bit later I was on my way home. I looked around for the girl I'd seen the day before. For some reason I was curious about her. It didn't matter, I would probably never see her again. In a big city like New York people come and go. I walked into the building and up the stairs until I reached the third floor and than walked into my apartment. I was greeted by my mother scowl.

"Where have you been?" She demanded.

"Out to get the newspaper." I said.

I held out the paper for her to see.

"I know that! What took you so long?"

"I wanted to see the city and get to know it better."

She looked at me disapprovingly

"Father said that I could you were there!" I said in defense.

Her expression changed knowing she'd lost. She walked away. I smiled knowing I had finely won! I almost never win.

"Maria lunch!" My father called.

"Coming."

I hurried to the dining room and sat in one of the chairs. It was nice to have my dad for lunch. He was usually at work by nine. Lucky for me he had off on weekends. Two less days I have to listen to my mothers constant barking. Mother put food on the table. As we started to eat my father opened his mouth to speak.

"I've been meaning to tell you," He started. "I'm going to be going to work earlier now. Seven in the morning to four in the afternoon."

I looked at him in shock.

"I'm still coming home at the same time at least." He said.

"That means you won't even be here for breakfast!" I said.

"Yes I know, but I have to do this. That is unless you want us to live on the streets." Father told me.

I stood up. I was outraged!

"Maybe people on the streets don't live such bad lives! They seem happy. Happier than we are! This whole problem with your work is such shit!" I screamed.

"Maria don't you dare speak that word in this house."Mother said.

I ignored her. How could this happen? Father hardly had time for us in the first place! I walked out of the dining. I walked into my room and slammed the door shut and locked it. I buried my face into my pillow and screamed.


	3. Chapter 3 Breakfast at Tibby

I stayed in my room for the rest of the night. I didn't want to talk to my mother or my father. Every now and than I would hear a knock at my door.

"Please open the door Maria." My father would say.

I didn't answer. I finely drifted off to sleep. The next morning I was glad that I didn't have to wake up to my mother shaking me and screaming in my ear. I got dressed and fixed my hair. My hair was practically unfixable. It was curly and difficult to brush through because of all knots. Once I managed to brush through my hair I walked out of my room. My mother was just standing looking out of a window in the kitchen. She wan't looking my way. I didn't want to talk to her. I needed some time away from my mother and her criticism. I snuck into my parents bed room. I got some money so that I could go out and have breakfast. I snuck out of the door. I walked out of the apartment and down the hall. I looked behind me every now and then. Was mother following? Did she notice the money was gone? I took a deep breath as I walked down the stairs. I walked out of my apartment building and down the streets. I had been walking fot a couple of blocks when I heard.

"Hey Maria!" I heard.

I turned my head to where the voice was coming from (across the street). It was Jack. I hadn't even realized that I was passing his usual spot.

"Hey Jack!" I said waving to him.

He hurried to me across the street.

"How goes it?" He asked.

"Oh... fine." I said hesitantly.

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah... Hey do you know anywhere that I could get some breakfast?" I asked changing the subject.

"I think so but it ain't got none of that rich food you're used too." He joked.

I laughed.

"Thats not a problem."

"Okay follow me. I'll sell my papes on the way."

He handed me a newspaper. I then took out my monry to pay him.

"You don't have to pay me now." He said. "You can wait till later if you want?"

"Okay."

Jack led me through the crowded New York streets. He kept a close eye on me so that he wouldn't lose me in the crowd. He lost me once but than found me and grabbed my hand. For some reason... I felt myself blush.

"There you are!" he said as he took my hand. "Come on lets go."

He gently tugged on my arm. Then we finely reached our destination. The door read Tibby's. It didn't look very big from the outside. But that didn't really matter.

"Well here we are." Jack announced. "I know it isn't as nice as what your used to but-"

"Don't worry it's fine."

We stepped through the door and sat down at a table. I looked around and studied the place. It wasn't too small but it wasn't to big. It was crowded with tables though. It seemed as if somebody had tried to cram as many tables in one space as possible until they wouldn't fit anymore. But that didn't mean that it looked to bad.

"What are you getting?" He asked me.

"What do they have?"

"Oh yeah I forgot how you've never been here."

He showed me the menu. I decided to get pancakes while Jack got a sandwich. As I began to eat my food me and Jack started to get into conversation.

"So how has things been?" I asked.

"Oh okay. Same as it is everyday."

"What is your everyday. It isn't like I would know."

"Okay I'll go through my usual day. I wake up every morning early for work and buy my papers. After I sell all of my papes I go out and have drinks with my friends or just take a walk around town or something. It isn't very existing" Jack explained.

Even if he didn't find it very stimulating I found the whole idea of freedom exciting and intoxicating! I longed for a life like that. A life with no boundaries.

"It sounds like fun." I said.

"Trust me it ain't."

"I'm eighteen and I haven't had a sip of beer in my life! It has to be more fun than my life."

He laughed a little.

"Well I would give my life up any day for yours." He told me.

I looked at him for a moment. I could see that he meant what he said. I could see the seriousness in his face.

"If you were in my place you wouldn't say that." I said.

He smiled. "Maybe I would. But I wouldn't know."

Once we finished eating our food we stood.

"I brought money for breakfast, I'll-" I started.

"No, don't worry I've got some money. I'm sure that it's enough to pay." He said cutting me off.

"Well okay but I haven't paid you for the newspaper yet so I should really pay." I persisted.

He laughed a little.

"Come on stop! I've got some money let me pay the bill."

He gave me a nice smile. I felt myself blush suddenly!

"Fine." I said giving in.

Jack paid the bill. We left Tibby's then.

"I should get going. See you again tomorrow?" He asked hopefully.

"Yes I'll meet you at the usual place."

He started to walk away. Then I remembered the newspaper that I was holding in my hand.

"Wait!" I called out.

He turned around. Because of how I'd said it there was a look of concern on his face.

"I didn't pay for the newspaper!" I said.

His face concerned melted away into a smile.

"No don't worry about it! No charge!" He said.

He winked at me and walked away. I watched him as he disappeared into the crowd.


	4. Chapter 4 Fear

I found myself staring at the place he once stood. I started to make my way home. On my way home I tried to think of how I would get into the house without being seen. I thought of the fire escape. It would be a good idea I could just climb up the fire escape and into my bedroom. But then I thought of my dress getting caught on something and me slipping off of the fire escape and falling to my death! Maybe that was't the best idea... I hurried home deciding that it would be fine if i was caught anyway. My mother wouldn't hurt me or slap me. To her the wasn't ladylike so I wasn't very worried.

I hurried into the apartment building and up the stairs. I tried to slip through the door as quietly as possible. I opened the door without a sound. But mother was already standing in the door.

"Where the he-" she stopped her self from saying anything "improper". "Where in the world have you been?"

In her face was a fury that you didn't usually see in her. I stayed quiet. I knew I was in huge trouble!

"Well answer me!" She demand.

What do I say?

"I... I went out for breakfast." I said hoping she would let this go.

"Maria, why did you go leave this building with out my permission? You know you are not aloud to do that."

I rolled my eyes. If only Jack were here to see this. He would understand after this, I thought.

"Don't roll your eyes at me young lady! Do you understand the stress i have suffered from? Your father and I have been worrying about your recent behavior..."She rambled on.

My mind was on other things. I looked down at my feet.

"Look at me when I am talking to you!" She said as she grabbed my face and raised it from the floor. "I don't know what you're doing but I am on to you!"

She finely released my face. I hurried to my bedroom and quietly sat on my bed in silence. Thinking about what had happened in my day. Nothing had exactly changed with mother. She made me feel degraded once again. I wanted freedom like Jack had, a life of my own! I sighed.

I heard a knock at my door. I knew it was father and I expected a rant. I took a deep breath and slowly made my way over to the door. I opened it to see father in the door way with a angry expression.

"I would like to speak with you Maria." He said.

I could see that he was holding in rage. I follow him to the parlor.

"Don't you understand what you are doing to your mother and I?" He said calmly.

I stared up at him. I knew not to answer...

"I have never never seen a child more selfish then you Maria!"He stared building up steam.

I took a deep breath knowing what was coming... He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me violently!

"Maria I swear if you ever do that again to your mother I there will be dire consciences Maria!" He shouts.

I could smell liquor on his breath. Father didn't drink though... Did he? I stared at him. I felt myself shaking. His eyes were so cold. I looked at him again. I saw how he looked his face angry and twisted... Not like him. Not my father. He shook me again. He started cursing and screaming at the top of his lungs!

"Your god damn life isn't as important! I don't give a crap! Why can't you just make your mother happy? You don't seem to give a damn!"

I felt hot tears going down my cheeks. My chest tightened. I felt an overwhelming fear come over me. I was so afraid! I wanted to scream but I felt like I was unable to make a sound.

"I swear to god Maria if you do this again I will..." He stopped holding himself back. Even drunk he knew what he was about to say was to harsh. He released my shoulders. He seemed to calm a bit. He stood and backed away. Had he noticed the horror on my face. I had seen him rant he was never physical! He escaped to the solitude of his own room. No comforting words, no apologies and none of the sweet personality that I had grown to know and love. I watched him as he retreated into his bedroom. I felt ashamed. I sat there tears rolling down my face. I looked down at my hands they were shaking. I rose from my seat and walked to my room. I control myself from having a nervous brake down.

I look up into my mirror. I was a complete mess. My face was bright red (this always happened when I cried), my hair was a mess from my father shaking me like a rag doll. I fix my hair. I knew that my face would go back to it's natural color. I took a deep breath and decided to go down the fire escape and take a breath of fresh air. Suddenly the idea of slipping and falling off the fire escape didn't seem so bad. I looked at my face to see if I was looking normal. I took off my shoes and started to make my way down the fire escape. Once I finely reached the bottom I but my fire escape I put on my shoes. I wanted to be anywhere but in my apartment. I hurried down the streets on the city as I started to think what had just happened to me. That wasn't my father. I knew my father! It was just the liquor! I convinced myself this by saying this over and over in my head. I fought off tears when ever I felt a serge of them.

"Hey Maria!" I heard.

The voice was unmistakable.

"Hi Race." I said.

Jack stood next to him. He waved to me. I waved back. I hurried over.

"How's it rolling?" Jack asked.

"Oh fine." I lied. "What about you guys?"

"The same." They said together.

"Hey Maria I figured I should introduce to the newsies crowd." Jack said.


	5. Chapter 5 The Newsies of Manhattan

Jack, Race and I hurried through the streets of the city. They led me just a bit passed broadway until we reached a small building (small compared to the buildings around it). I stood and studied the brick building until Racetrack grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me into the building. The inside of the building empty other than us and an older man sitting behind a desk in a bowler hat. He was reading a book that he was so invested in he he didn't notice us enter the boarding house. He was dressed middle class clothing very extravagant but not rags either.

"This is our landlord Kloppman. In other words he owns the joint." Jack said.

Kloppman looked up from his book and up at us.

"And who is this lovely lady?" Kloppman asked.

I smiled at his complement.

"This is Maria." Jack told him putting his hands on my shoulders.

As he did I felt the heat go to my cheeks.

"Nobody's hear cause they're still working." Race explained. "There are a lot more of us newsies you just wait an see."

They led me upstairs to a large room with several bunk bed scattered about.

"Down that hall is my room." Jack said pointing to the hallway a few feet away. I looked around the rest of the room the beds were stuffed into every corned and each empty space. On there other side was a washroom. It was a quite a site. It was pretty disgusting used rags were everywhere the floor was still wet from the morning and I couldn't help but cringe a little. I turned away from the the wash room and back to Jack.

"So you're the only one with a separate room?" I asked.

"Yeah... But there is a reason!" He said. I could tell he was trying not to sound like an ass.

"Do you remember about the strike with me and the rest of the newsies year ago?" He asked.

I didn't read the papers like my father did and especially because we had lived n New Jersey I hadn't heard of it.

"I don't think so..." I mumbled.

Jack opened his mouth.

"Jack is going to drag this out so here's the short story," Race said. "a year ago we had a big strike against Pulitzer and we won. Jack led the strike so he got a fancy bedroom."

It was then that a boy stepped in. He was dressed in rags like the rest of Jack and Racetrack the one difference was that he wore an eyepatch. He had reddish blond hair (but mostly red). The one eye he had or the one eye he had showing was a light shade of blue.

"Hey guys I just sold me last pape and I-" He looked up and noticed that I was there."Who's your friend?"

"Hey Kid Blink this is Maria." Jack said.

He looked at me with a friendly grin.

"Hi Maria." He said.

"Hi Kid Blink." I said.

Not long after that more and more started to walk onto the room. They some came alone others in groups. Some by two some by three some by more. Each greeted me with warm smiles. As each of them came inJack informed me of there names.

"So Maria this is Specs, and this is Mush and this is..." He continued.

I tried to remember every name but I couldn't manage to get them down. After calling Specs Snitch I decided to just point to them if I didn't know their name. Some of the boys played poker in the corner, others just talked on the bunks. It wasn't much later when a girl walked into the room. She had brown curls and deep brown eyes.

"Oh and this is Faith." Jack said.

Her face looked so familiar... Had I seen her before? She didn't even acting as if I was there at me until she limbed up onto her bunk.

"Who is she?" Faith asked without even looking at me.

"Her name is Maria." Jack answered.

"Oh yeah you mentioned her."

She finally turned her head and looked over at me.

"Nice to finely meet you." She smiled.

I smiled back. She seemed tired from selling papers. Her she was dressed in rag like the rest of them. Then I noticed a key around her neck... It felt familiar again.

"She needs a nickname." Kid Blink shouted out.

"Yeah what's it going to be Race?" Mush said.

All eyes turned to Racetrack and me. I looked over at Race. I didn't like to be stared at and so I figured if I looked at him so would the rest of them.

"Maria stand up i need to get a good look at you." He said.

"Uh... ok." I said as I stood.

He studied me. He sat there staring at me for a long time. The awkward began to sink in. I decided to speak up because otherwise who the hell knows how long this would go on!

"Race what are you-"

"Quiet!" He demand.

Small laughs came out of the crowd. I knew that this was either a joke to make me look stupid or Race was just insane...

"Turn." Race instructed.

I stared at him for a second.

"Racetrack... can you please tell me what your doing?"I asked.

The laughs got a little louder.

"You should get used to this. He does it every time." Faith laughed. "He names most newsies based on looks and personality."

I stood for what seemed like an hour with Race just staring at me.

"I think I got something for you..." He finely said. "Doll, like a porcelain doll."

The newsies nodded in agreement. I smiled it was a nice name.

"It's getting late, I should be getting you home." Jack told me.

I felt a chill go down my spine thinking of going home. I didn't want to back and see my family... I wanted to say something but i didn't know what to say. I tried to think of an excuse.

"Come on lets go." Jack said before I could think of anything.

We walked out of the boarding house and down the street. I looked around and saw children curled up in corners or ally ways. My mother had always called the poor children on the street urchins and had told me to never speak a word to them. I had always felt bad for the them. I hadn't seen them on the streets like this in a long time though.

"You know," Jack said snapping me out of my thoughts. "I only got you out of there so I could spend dome time with you alone."

I felt the heat go to my cheeks and my heart skip a beat. He smiled at me warmly.

"I like spending time with you... Your different than everyone else I know." I said smiling back at him.

"Different how?"

"The way you live, the way you act. Being rich is so much different then you think sometimes. It's not always that easy."

"Nether is being poor. I make pennies, your father makes hundreds. Sometimes when you live one way the other way always seems better don't it?"

"I know what you mean." I said.

I thought about what had happened earlier wit my father. I was so worried... Was it really just the liquor?

"Jack when we get to my building can you leave me in the back by the fire escape?" I asked.

The second I said it I wished I hadn't because from the look on Jack's face I was about to get questioned.

"Sure. Why do you need me to leave you in the back?"He asked.

"Oh no reason."

Jack nodded his head. He looked like he wanted to ask me why again but he didn't. Jack left me in the back of the building. Once he left I climbed the fire escape until I reached my floor. I climbed into my bedroom, changed my cloths and slipped into bed quietly. Then I slowly drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6 Not the Father I Know

In the morning I woke up late. I never woke up late... I expected my mother to drag me out of bed and make some sort of comment about what I had done to my father. I knew that in I hadn't done anything. In fact it was my father who had committed the crime of drinking to much and scaring me to death! Maybe for once she's realized that... I sat up in my bed listening, not knowing what to expect. A sudden fear came over me. What is he's just waiting for me? I thought. I pictured my dad with a bottle of whiskey in his hand waiting for me at the n=end of the hallway. I could see him standing there staring at my door, watching and waiting.

It took all of my courage to stand and slowly walk to my door. I counted my steps. One, two three, four... I opened by the time I got to fourteen I was standing in front of my door. I took a deep breath as I reached for the door nob. My body trembled as I turned the nob and opened the door. I looked down the hall to my relief he wasn't standing at the end of the hall. But I knew that didn't mean he wasn't in the apartment at all. I peered into the parlor. He wasn't there. And there was no sign of him in the kitchen. One last place to look the master bedroom. I made my down the hall nervously biting my lip. I opened the door and there he laid. He was sprawled out on the bed. I saw him and gasped in fear. I expected my gasp to wake him up but it didn't. I watched him for moment. My mother wasn't laying next to him... I closed the door. I hurried away from the room. I looked down at my hands and realized I was shaking. I took a deep breath. I heard the apartment front door open.

"Good morning Maria." I heard mother say.

"Good morning mother."

"Where were you?"

"Out for a little fresh air."

I tried to hide the fact that I was trembling with fear.

"Your hair is a mess Maria!" My mother nagged.

At least she didn't notice you shaking. I thought. She grabbed a brush and violently started brushing through my hair. I thought of a question.

"Why is father home I thought that he had to go to work now?" I asked.

"He took the day off today. He told me he wanted to spend some time with you."

I felt my heat drop. Why would he want to talk to me after what he had done to me? Better yet how could he talk to me? Mother snapped me out of my thoughts by putting the brush through my knotted hair again. I felt a few hairs getting pulled out of my head. Pain.

"I do have important people to see today so it will just be you and your father." She said.

My chest tightened. As I stood trying to understand what was happening to me, my father walks in. I feel a chill go down my spine. Pure utter fear. I looked down at my arms. They were covered with goose bumps.

"Good morning." He said smiling as if everything was alright.

"Good morning." mother mumbled.

"Uh... G-good morning." I stuttered.

I stared at my father as he stepped into the room. He looked up at me. Our eyes met. I felt sick like I was about to vomit all over the floor of my apartment. An awkward silence between us ensued.

"Well," mother said ending the silence "I should get going soon..."

I could tell she was trying to escape the awkwardness. With that my mother left me there with my father. Questions swirled around in my head. Had my father told my mother what happened? Where was mother going? If she knew what happened then why was she leaving me alone with my father?

"So Maria," My father began. "is there something you would like to talk to me about?"

Inside I wanted to scream yes there is something I would like to talk to you about! Don't you understand what you did? Why did you hurt me? How could you put your hand on your own child? But outside really I said "No... No nothing."

"Oh I see."

I felt disappointed in myself. I should have said something. I tried but each time I did I couldn't seem to find the words

and my mouth went dry.

"Maria I..." He started then he just shut his mouth.

Was he cutting off an apology? I felt rage build up inside me! I was about to blow!

"You what?" I seethed.

He silently motioned me over, like a slave. His slave. I managed to hold in my anger. I walked over to him. He placed a hand on my shoulder. It wasn't the warm loving father I once knew. Even tough he had his rants he was still a wonderful person. But now that was gone the hand on my shoulder was cold to the touch. I looked at him. Who was this man? It didn't feel like my father. He acted nothing like my father. If I could describe how I felt in one word it would be vertigo. I felt sick and I was about to fall over from it. As if I was about to fall over. The whole situation just made me feel dizzy.

"Maria I wanted to... apologize." He said.

For some reason the apology didn't make me feel better it just made me feel rage swell up inside me. I had reached my boiling point!

"You want to apologize? That is your best? You were there you know what you did! How could you? I don't need you god damn apologies!" I screamed.

I stormed out the door without even looking into my fathers eyes. I didn't want to see his reaction. I didn't need it. I ran down the stair case until I reached the lobby. I hurried out. I walked down the street looking behind my shoulder every few minutes in fear of my father following me. I walked just a bit passed Broadway until I got to a smaller building. The Newsboys Lodging House. I walked through the door. Kloppman sat behind his desk reading the same book he'd been reading the last time I was there. I rushed up the stairs. He looked up from his book.

"Good morning ."He said.

"Hello Kloppman."

I hurried up the stairs and into the crowded room with the bunks. I opened the door. The room was all empty except for Faith who was sitting on her bunk.

"Welcome back." She said once again without looking at me.

How does she do that? I wondered.

"You must be looking for Jack right?" Faith asked.

I nodded my head.

"Well he's not here, he's out selling. He should be back in about one or two hours." She went on.

"And why aren't you selling?" I asked.

She looked at me then. "I have plans for a little bit later. I took a day off. I haven't been sleeping well."

I noticed her dark circles had gone away. She seemed less drowsy.

"Well I guess I should be on my way." I turned around ready to leave.

"No, why don't you stay for a while? It would be nice to have another girl to talk to around here." She smiled.

I smiled back.

"Why not go to Jack's room for some privacy?" she asked.

"Okay."

We walked down the hall and into Jacks room. It was a small room. It has a small bed in the left corner and a table with some playing cards spread across the it and something else... I walked over to the small table. It was a picture, two pictures actually. One of Jack and a girl his age a boy also his age and a younger boy who looked about nine. Jack had his arm around the girl. For some reason I felt my heart drop. Was that Jack's girl?

"Who are these people?" I asked nervously.

"Oh them?" She paused as if not sure what to say next."Well Jack doesn't like us talking about it... But I guess I could tell you."

Faith sat on the bed and patted the seat next to her.

"David the boy in the picture was a Newsie back in the strike days. The kid is Les his brother. David was a pretty big part of the strike and became Jacks best friend. Sara was his sister and Jack and her fell in love by the end of the strike. But not to long after the strike the David, Sara and Les were sent back to school by they're father and Jack and Sara's relationship didn't work out." She explained.

I felt slightly relieved. I didn't want Jack to be with anyone...

"And the other picture?" I asked.

"Oh this one." She laughed. "Just a picture from the strike. See the boy next to Kid Blink?"

"Yeah, what about him?"

"That's Spot Conlon." She said with pride.

"Who?"

"Spot, he's the leader of the Brooklyn newsies. We've been together for a while." She smiled.

She looked so happy. Almost like nothing else really could upset her. I'd never felt like that... Her eyes were bright and dazzling.

I heard the creek of the door open. I turned to see Jack standing in the doorway. Our eyes met.

"Uh... Hey. What are you doing in here?" Jack asked.

"Nothing, just talking." Faith said.

She quickly put turned around and put the photos behind her back. I wasn't exactly sure what to say. I didn't want to open my mouth and have the whole story about Faith and I looking through Jacks things. Our eyes were still locked. I didn't want to break this, but it was getting a little odd.

"Okay... You guys need piracy or something?" He asked awkwardly breaking our stare.

"Oh don't worry Jack we'll be out in a few minutes." I said.

Jack closed the door.

"Nice save back there." Faith smiled. "Hey did you notice Jack was staring at you?"

"He was?" I acted as if I'd never noticed.

"Jack is just being... strange I guess." She laughed. "I think he just likes you."

"Maybe he does."


	7. Chapter 7 A Visiter

Later that night I was in my bed. I'd climbed up the fire escape again to avoid my father. I wasn't really sure how I felt anymore... I was torn between love for my father and hatred. I thought back to a time I would always remember. I was about three and my father had taken me on a walk in the city. He held my hand and took me through the crowded streets. I walked by the World building. It didn't mean that much to me at the time. I just called it the big building and I always asked my father If I could live there one day (I thought it was an apartment building). I wasn't sure why I remembered this moment but it was my father, my real father.

I herd a knock at my window snapping me out of my thoughts. I felt a chill go down my spine from shock and fear. I looked around my for a weapon jus in case someone I didn't know... While looking trough a draw I found an old candle stick that I used to use before my gas lamps. I walked to the window tightly holding the candle stick in my hand. I opened the shades.

Jack was standing in my fire escape. I opened the window.

"Jack, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I just wanted to see you." He said. "Whats the candle stick for?"

"Nothing. I was just... Well, I was worried you were someone else." I laughed.

He smiled. I found myself lost in his eyes again. I snapped myself out of it though.

"Do you want to come inside?" I asked him.

"Yeah sure." He answered as he stepped trough the window.

He looked around the room studying it.

"Nice place you got here." He said.

"Thank you."

I smiled at him.

"I never really ever seen a place like this."

"Really? It's not special or anything-"

"Your kidding me right? This place it's..." He searched for the word "amazing!"

I sat on my bed. The thought that Jack had come to see me out of his own spare time when he could have done anything else made me feel important. I'd never considered myself important before. I'd never thought of myself so special in a persons life that they wanted to be with me when ever possible.

"You've got to have some more friends like me right?"I asked.

"No."

I was surprised. I was sure that more people who were rich like me liked Jack. He was cheery and exciting and different from everything I knew.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well your different from anyone I know that's rich like you. Anyone else like you wouldn't want to talk to a street rat like me."

"Don't call yourself that! Your a great man. A really great man."

He looked down at his shoes.

"You mean it? Really?" He asked surprised.

"Of corse."

He looked up at me and into my eyes.

"People don't really think of me that way."

"Well I do. I always thought so."

He smiled at me.

"Sit with me." I said.

His smile got wider as he accepted.

"Jack sometimes I wish I lived a life like yours." I said.

"Why is that?"

I leaned my head on his shoulder. And made an exaggerated sigh like I was to tired to sit up straight.

"It's a long story."

He was so easy to talk to. It was so much different than what I knew. Comfortable and simple. Everything seemed so easy. He made me feel so safe.

"I've got the time."He said. "Come on, you can tell me."

He smiled down at me.

"Jack it's pretty personal..."

"If thats what you want."

I felt him put his arm around me. I felt the heat go to my cheeks.

"Jack you're so easy to talk to." I said smiling.

"What do you mean?"

"It's simple with you..." I searched for the words to explain. "It's seems so easy. I don't have any rules with you. I don't have to be told constantly to sit up straight or not to stay out late. It makes me feel like I'm two!"

He laughed. I wanted time to stop so that moment would be there forever. Suddenly I heard a knock at the door.

"Maria?" The voice said. I could tell it was my father. "Are you alright in there?I hear voices, who are you talking to?

I gasped. I'd completely forgotten my parents even existed! Jack seemed to have that effect on me.

"Hide in the closet! I'll get the door." I whispered.

As Jack slipped into my closet I hurried to the door.

"Maria?" Father asked.

"I'm coming."

I opened the door.

"Yes father?" I asked.

He looked around the room, inspecting it for anything out of the ordinary.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked trying to get him away as quickly as I could.

"Oh nothing. Just watching out for my child."

Hearing that made my blood boil.

"Thank you. I should be getting ready for sleep." I said trough clenched teeth.

I shut the door no longer caring about talking to my father. I could feel myself drifting farther and farther away from him. I hurried to the closet and opened it.

"Jack, he's gone." I said.

"You got some nice stuff in there. Remind me to never piss you off."He joked.

I laughed. When I was with Jack I always let down my walls. Some people might think that he just broke through them, but I wouldn't put it that way. He was bright, charming, interesting and likable.

"I really better be going it's getting late." Jack said.

I was disappointed about him going.

"Okay... I'll miss you."

"No worries. I'll see you tomorrow right?" He gave me one of his grins.

"Yeah I'll be there." I smiled back.

He wrapped his arms around me. I blushed. I didn't expect him to hold me.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He whispered.

With that he crawled out of the window. I watched him climb down the fire escape. I watched him until he was just a dot in the distance.


	8. Chapter 8 His Past

The next day I woke up to the usual way things work. My mother shook me awake and then I was was squeezed into my coset and into my dress.

"That's to tight!" I hissed when mother was lacing up my corset.

"Now Maria ladies don't complain! You are not a child."

She pulled it even tighter. Oh god, it was like suffocating! I she continued to lace up my corset and I was stuck with that thing wrapped around me the whole day. I was more then excited for spending sometime with Jack. That is what he we had agreed on. At that time I heard a knock on the door.

"Well that must be your father." Mather said.

She walked over to the door and opened it. In the door was a disheveled and dazed looking version of my father.

"Where is hell have you been?" She whispered so that I wouldn't here (even though I did).

"I'd like to speak to Maria alone."

I knew he was drunk. I felt my heart begin to pound. Mother looked to me then back to my father. I could see that she was just as worried as I was.

"Well..." She started hesitantly. "Perhaps if it's alright with Maria."

I felt as if my heart was about to come out of my chest. They both looked to me. I was searching for something to say... If I said the wrong thing than he might just lose his mind!

"I-I mean if you want to..." I stuttered.

I wished I hadn't said what I'd said from the second it came out of my mouth. My mother nodded and stepped out of the room closing the door behind her. I was alone with my father in one room and he was drunk. Anything was possible! My father walked over to me. I could smell the liquor on his breath.

"Maria I figured we should spent some time together and give things another try." He said.

I didn't know what to say. I knew I did not want to spend any time with my father. No I wouldn't. I couldn't.

"I'm sorry father, but I have plans." I said.

His face contorted into something so angry and filled with hate. I knew what was coming. He reached for my shoulders but before he could I darted towards the window. He almost grabbed my dress but missed it my an inch. I hurried down the fire escape. I thought I could hear a muffled "Wait!". I wasn't sure it was really there of if my mind was playing tricks on me. I ran through the streets. Finely I reached Jacks street corner.

"Jack! Jack!" I screamed.

He saw me and my distress. I ran into him nearly toppling him over. I bursted out in tears right there.

"Okay, okay." He stroked my back. "Maria tell me what happened."

He was calm. I could tell that he was trying to calm me down by doing this. My chest felt tight and I was crying so hard I could barely breathe!

"Let's go to the boarding house. We can talk about everything that happened." He said.

He led me to the boarding house. I was able to hold myself together until we got into the boarding house and into Jack's room. It was then I broke down. He wrapped his arms around.

"It's okay. Tell me what happened?" He said.

I took a deep breath. I couldn't help but feel safe in his arms. He wiped away my tears. He sat me down the on bed.

"Tell me everything." He said.

"I-it was my father... He was drunk and he just..." I tried to just spit it out, but it came out in stutters.

His face became even more worried.

"What did he do to you? He didn't hurt you did he?" Jack asked.

"Not exactly..."

"Well what happened then?"

"My father has been drinking lately and then he just lost it! He was screaming at me yelling." I felt tears going down my face. "He grabbed for me and missed. I ran to you... I didn't have anywhere else to go." The words came out in a jumble. He looked away and to the floor. It seemed to strike him hard. He took a deep breath. He seemed like he was about to break down.

"Whats wrong Jack?" I asked.

"It's a long story..." He mumbled.

"Jack whats wrong? Tell me please."

He sighed and looked up at me then said, "I don't talk about it much... It's not really important at all."

"Jack, If somethings wrong I want to help you."

He took a shaky breath.

"Are you sure you want to know?" He asked.

I nodded.

"Alright..." He paused as if he was thinking of the words to say. "When I was a kid my dad used to beat my mom. He would force me to watch it. And then one day... H-he killed her, and I was watching. I remember being so afraid. I wasn't sure what happened to my mother until later on I was to in shock. One day I just left and found the police and then they took him away. He got life in prison so I won't see him ever again. But that's all over now, it doesn't matter."

I looked up at him in shock. I thought it was bad for me but Jack had been through hell.

"Oh god Jack... I'm so sorry." I said.

"No don't be. That was a long time ago."

I wrapped my arms around him. I could tell we both needed it. He looked down at me and smiled. I smiled back. The heat went to my cheeks. I didn't exactly know why it was after all that had just happened, but there in his arms I felt happy. Truly happy.


	9. Chapter 9 Game Night

"We've got a game poker tonight. You should stay, it will be fun." Jack said.

We'd been together that whole day since I'd ran to him in the street. The last thing I wanted was to go home to my family. Also I enjoyed my time with Jack, he treated me different than everybody else.

"Sure, I'd love to." I smiled.

"Great. Do you know how to play?"

"Uh... No." I muttered.

"That's fine, don't worry about it. Faith never plays. You can talk to her. Afterwords some we have beers and have a pretty good time."

I got a bit nervous because I'd never had a beer in my life, I was worried I would throw up or faint.

"Hey Jack..." I mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"I've never had a beer. Can you make sure I don't have one to many?"

"I didn't expect you would have had one. I'll be sure to tell you when to put the bottle down."

"Who's going to be there?" I asked.

"Well all of us newsies from Manhattan and Brooklyn."

"Why not the other non of the other newsies?"

"Toss who's the leader of Staten Island is always turning us down and we don't talk to Bronx newsies or Queens newsies a lot."

I nodded. It wasn't long people started pouring into the boarding house. Soon it was practically filled with boys (Faith and I were the only girls).

"Maria!" I heard.

I turned to see Faith.

"Hi Faith."

"There are some people I want you to meet." She grabbed my hand and led me to the other side of the room. I met about twenty-eight boys all of them were Brooklyn newsies. There were so many I felt like the room was spinning! Eventually we came to a boy who she was most fond of. She tapped a boy on the shoulder. He turned around. He looked a little familiar. He had striking blue eyes. I don't mean he had bright blue eyes, his eyes were the first thing you noticed about him. He had blond hair poking out from under his cap. He was thin, tall and pretty cute. But not my type.

"This is Spot. You do remember I told you about him right?" Faith said.

"Yeah, it's nice to meet you." I said.

We shook hands. He was seemed pretty nice.

"Alright you guys!" Jack called out. "We're getting started in the other room!"

"Okay I got to get going." Spot told Faith.

He kissed her forehead then her lips. I saw the the way he acted with her and I wished someone acted with me that way. I looked up at Jack, who had treated me better than anybody who I'd ever met in my life. And for a moment the idea of us slipped into my mind, the idea of us together. Although this idea seem perfect in so many ways but I pushed it out of my mind. He didn't think of me in that way... Did he?

The boys played for the majority of the night. It was something different for me. A bunch of boys sitting around a table cursing laughing joking. Yeah I'd seen men play poker together. But they were rich powerful men sitting around a table talking about politics and other boring chatter. By the end Spot had won and I found out this was nothing new that he always won. Jack was practically making it his life goal to beat him in a single game. But that wasn't working out as of now. Race apparently was a compulsive gambler and also would dig pretty deep into his pockets too.

But after the game the boys broke out the beer bottles and started laughing and joking.

"Maria you want one?" Jack asked holding out a bottle of beer in his hand.

"Sure, why not?"

He handed it to me and I took a sip... Not bad. Not bad all. I thought. I drank some more. Good for me though I didn't get to tipsy after just a few little sips of beer. Although I did get a little tipsy after awhile... Only a little! It didn't really matter because so was everyone else.

"Do you like it?" Jack asked.

"I like it."I smiled.

It was more fun than any so called "party" I'd been to. My parties were women drinking tea and talking about the weather. But not this, this was different. Boys drank whisky and beer. They laughed and talked it was very different.

"Hey Porcelain, how's it rolling?" I heard.

The voice was unmistakable.

"Hi Racetrack. I'm good, how about you?"

"I'm pretty good other then the thirty cents I lost." He muttered.

"You lost thirty cents?" I said shocked.

"Well yeah... Hey at least I didn't lose an extra twenty like some people." He eyed Jack.

"Shut the hell up Race." Jack mumbled.

I giggled a little bit.

"Well maybe if it wasn't you life dream to-" Race started. Before he could finnish Jack grabbed him and put a hand over his mouth. They roughed each other up a bit, but after they just cracked up laughing. I thought either they were really comfortable with each other or they were to drunk to give a damn. In about an hour the guys started to leave. I said goodbye to all of the Brooklyn newsies (yes all of them) before they had to go. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I tuned around.

"Oh hi Jack." I smiled.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to stay the night because of... you know? I was thinking you could stay with me?"

I felt the heat go to my cheeks. Was Jack asking me to stay the night with him? Really? I was surprised but in a good way. First of all I didn't want to go home and speak or even see my father. And second Jack and I would be together for a whole night. It showed me how much he cared.

"I would love to." I said.

Jack gave a huge smile.

"Alright then," He pulled on my sleeve. "come on."

He lead me to his room.

"So you can just sleep in my cloths tonight. If that comfortable with you?" Jack asked.

"That's fine." I nodded.

He let me change on my own. Jack knocked on the door after I was done.

"Come in." I said.

Jack walked into the room.

"Ready for bed?" He asked.

"Yeah."

Jack and I made our way into this bed. I laid down in the bed next to him. After a moment of this. Jack wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. I was surprised but didn't mind. I could feel my heart pounding as if t was trying to come trough my chest. I snuggled up against Jack.

"Goodnight." He whispered.

"Goodnight." I said before I quietly drifted off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10 Hope

I woke up wrapped in Jacks arms. Be held by Jack made me feel safe, warm and protected.

"Good morning." Jack smiled sweetly.

I smiled back up at him.

"I've got to get ready for work." He said. "You can stay here or go home whatever you want."

I thought it over for a while... Maybe I should go home try to speak to my father about these things that he had been doing. But then again how did I know he wasn't drunk again? I knew it was a stupid stupid stupid idea. But I still wanted to go home because there was still that hope... I hoped with all of my being that things would go back to the way they were.

"I think I'll go home." I told him.

He looked at me with worry in his face.

"Are you sure about that? I don't think that it would be the best idea."

"I know what you mean but I want to see my home and family again. By the way didn't you say that it was my choice?"

"Yeah but I was expecting you to stay here... I just want you to be safe." He said.

I felt the heat go to my cheeks. Jack caring about me made me feel wonderful. I couldn't help but smile a bit.

"Thanks Jack. It really means a lot to me. I think that I'm going home though."

"Well... If thats what you want." He sighed.

"I'll come back later will that make you feel better?" I asked.

He laughed a little. "Hows this? You meet me at my spot at about four o'clock later?"

"Sounds like a plan." I spit into my hand like I'd seen some of the boys do last night.

He just stared at me for a second.

"What?" I asked.

"The girls like you I meet don't usually do that sort of thing." He explained.

"Well I'm not the girl you usually meet." I smiled.

He laughed spit into his hand and shook mine.

"Can I walk you home?" Jack asked.

"Won't that make miss your job?"

"Yeah but only a little late. I'd prefer to walk you home anyway."

I blushed again. He was so sweet. I wonder if he ever noticed me blushing.

"Alright, you get dressed. Tell me when you're ready." He said as he walked out of the room closing the door behind him.

I changed my clothes from Jacks to mine. I sighed a little, I wished that I didn't have to go. But the other part of me wanted to go. I knew it would be wrong to just leave my parents. I also knew how dangerous it was. I heard a knock at the door that snapped me out of my thoughts.

"I'm done Jack, come in." I called.

Jack opened the door.

"Are you ready to go?"He asked.

"Yeah I am."

"Alright. He walked me out of the

He walked me out of the boarding house. I said goodbye to all of the newsies as we walked out. Once we were outside of the building I felt his hand take mine. I smiled to myself. Jack squeezed my hand and looked over at me.

"How is your life at home? Not counting your father." He asked.

"Other than my dad it's just my obnoxious mother. But she isn't as bad as my father is..."

"I'm so sorry to hear that." He said softly.

"Don't be. It's okay."

"No Maria it's not." His face was hard and serious now. "It's wrong you don't deserve this you should have... No you need to be treated better."

He stops and looks at me in the eye's. He puts his hands on my shoulders and looked deep into my eyes.

"If I could take this all away I would. Maria I need you to listed to me and what I am going to say right now do you understand me?"

I nodded. "Yes."

He took a deep breath.

"Maria you need to get out! If you don't it will only be harder survive! It isn't safe. Trust me I know! What I'm trying to say is... That I'm... I mean I'm..." He sighed. "I want you to be safe okay? Maria be safe for me. Because you mean so much to me." He stared at me for a while more. My heart pounded. He let go of my shoulders. He took another deep breath.

"Okay let's go..." He said.

We walked to my house in silence. I think that we just weren't sure what to say after that. Once we reached my apartment building we both paused and looked at each other.

"I'll see you later?" He smiled.

"I'll be there."

He wrapped me in his arms for a minute. He let me go after a moment. I blushed.

"Goodbye Jack..."

"Goodbye Maria."

I walked into the apartment building looking back at Jack several times. I walked up the stairs I felt something different for Jack... Something new. I'd felt it before for other people of course, but not this strong. I loved Jack. I loved him with all of my heart. I smiled to myself as I hurried up the stairs and down the hall to my apartment.

I stopped once I reached the door. As I reached for the door nob fear crept in. I stopped my hand before I could turn it. I had no clue what would happen. I missed my old life. Once I had hated it but now I wanted it so badly... Maybe it was that hope I told you about that made me turn the nob and enter the apartment.


	11. Chapter 11 Street Rat

Slowly I slipped into the apartment. Nobody seemed to even be home. I walked to my bedroom and sat on my bed.

"And where were you?" I heard.

This scared the crap out of me! I turned around quickly.

"M-mother." I stuttered.

"Well answer my question." She demanded.

"I was out for a walk." I lied.

"Oh were you now?" She said sarcastically.

"I was."

"Alone?"

"Yes, I was alone."

I was trying to convince her but her eyebrows narrowed and her lips became a straight line.

"Don't try that with me Maria!"

"Mother I'm telling you the truth."

"Then who were you with outside? I saw you with someone."

She'd seen me with Jack! I knew if I messed up on the next things I'd say that I would never ever be able to step out of my apartment again... That meant I'd never see Jack.

"The apartment is at a far distance from the street and there are many people on the street." I said.

"And someone you don't know would wrap their arms around you?"

"I-I just... I was-"

"You knew that boy I saw you with didn't you? Answer me Maria!"

"I don't know!" I screamed.

"Was it one of those poor children? Those disgusting street rats?"

I felt anger build up inside of me. I knew that if I opened my mouth my anger would all come pouring out. So I stayed silent.

"Answer me question!" She shouted.

"Fine yes!"

"I do not want you talking to any children like that ever again. Do you understand me?"

"But mother I-"

"Do you understand me?"

"Yes mother... I understand."

She quickly recollected herself.

"That's better now." She smiled.

I felt tears in my eyes. Jack is going to hate me. I thought. He's never going to want to speak to me again! I looked over to the window hoping that mother wouldn't see my tears. She wasn't really paying attention.

"I'll let you relax for a little while... But trust me Maria I'm watching you and everything you do." She said as she walked out.

I buried my face into my pillow and jut cried. How could it have gone so wrong? I cried so hard I could barley breathe. Whenever I cried like that I coughed, this time was no different. I stayed curled up on my bed for a long time maybe an hour or so. Eventually I looked up in the mirror my face had turned bright red. I took a few deep breaths and watched my face return to normal.

Not long after that I heard a knock at my window. I looked up at the clock. It was twenty minutes after four o'clock. I already knew it was Jack at my window. I hurried over and opened the window. He looked pretty annoyed.

"Where were you? I've been waiting outside for twenty minutes! You couldn't have just told me you weren't going to..." He took a good look at me. "You okay?"

I started to cry right there. Jack pulled me to his chest.

"Okay, okay. Maria come on tell me what happened."

He dried my eyes. I knew my face was probably scarlet red. I took a few deep breaths and let myself calm down.

"My mother says we can't see each other anymore." I said.

He looked at me for a moment.

"Why?" He asked.

"Don't be offended by this Jack. She said that you were a street rat and she didn't want me talking to anyone like you. It's just her prejudice. I'm sorry Jack..."

I could tell he was hurt.

"No it's okay. But Maria why should you listen to her?"

"What do you mean?"

"She's just ignoring the fact that you father is trying to hurt you and now she is trying to tell you what to do! She knows every second you're with him your in danger. If she doesn't give a damn about you, why shout you give a damn about her?"

I looked up at him for a minute and realized he was right. Why should I care? If she cared about me she would have protected me the moment she found out what was going on! Jack held out his hand.

"Well are you coming with me?" Jack asked with a smile.

I was about to take his hands when I remembered what my mother said.

"No my mother is watching from our front window... The back of my building is where my father comes home and he can be home any minute!" I explained.

Jack just smiled. "Then we'd better hurry."

I took his hand and together we went down the fire escape. The second our feet touched the ground we ran like hell to get as far away from my building as possible.

"Okay I think this is far enough." Jack said eventually."I need a break."

We were both tired and out of breath. Jacks face was completely flushed. We stood there panting like dogs in the heat.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"I figured we'd take a walk in Central Park."

I smiled at him.

"I think I'd like that."

He smiled. "Alright lets go. I think we should walk this time though." He joked.

I smiled and laughed. By the time we reached Central Park only a few minutes had passed. I saw woman and children walking through the park. Small kids all by them selves playing. The children were all poor. But they seemed happy. Very happy. I felt Jack take my hand. I blushed. Jack looked into my eyes. My face was probably red as a cherry at that point. He squeezed my hand.

"You okay? I know what you've been through." He said as we walked.

"I'm alright."

"You sure about that?" Jack asked.

"Yeah."

"Maria, if there is anything you need of anything of anything I can do for you let me know."

I looked at him and smiled. Jack was so kind to me. Nobody else had been. It was almost like he made it his sole duty to protect me. That felt great.

"Thank you Jack." I said.

"You know Maria in some ways you remind me of myself. You know what I mean?"

I didn't know... I didn't know at all.

"Well not exactly..." I mumbled.

"I don't know it's just we've both been through a lot and we're... I don't know. It's hard to explain." He laughed a little bit.

"That's okay."

He stopped and looked down at his shoes for a second.

"Maria there's something important that I've been wanting to ask you ." He said.

His face became serious.

"Alright, what is it?"

Jack took a deep breath.

"How do you feel about me?" He asked.

"You're my best friend Jack." I said with a smile. I knew that wasn't how I really felt but I didn't know what to say. He looked a little disappointed.

"Is that all I am to you?" He asked. His eyes were pleading with me to say what he wanted me to say. But I wasn't exactly sure what that was. I did have a pretty good idea.

"What do you mean exactly Jack?"

He took another deep breath. This one was longer and deeper. Obviously he was stressed.

"W-what I mean is... The thing is that I... I..." He sighed and looked at me for a second. "Just give me a minute to get this out. Maria what I'm trying to say is that-" He gave up on his words and kissed me right then.

"That's what I mean." He whispered as he pulled away.

I stood there in shock for a moment. What should I say? What should I do? I guess I didn't need words either. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him back. Jack smiled, for once he was blushing too.


	12. Chapter 12 Memories

Jack and I walked through the park. We walked hand and hand. Every now and then he'd stop and wrap his arms around me and kiss me.

"Maria how about we go back to the boarding house just you and me?" He asked.

I smiled. "Alright," I said. "let's go."

We walked there together. Just a bit passed Broadway.

"Hey Kloppman." Jack said as he opened the door.

"Oh hi Jack. Maria lovely to see you today." Kloppman chirped

"Thank you Kloppman. Lovely to see you also." I said.

"We're heading upstairs. I'll see you in a little while." Jack said.

Jack took my hand and led me upstairs and into his room. I noticed something on the bed.

"What's that?" I asked.

"What's what?"

"That." I said pointing at the thing on the bed.

"Oh that's nothing you should worry about. You can look at it if you want."

I walked over to it.

"Santa Fe." I read aloud.

It was a brochure for Santa Fe with a cowboy on the cover.

"Yeah," He laughed. "My old obsession."

"What exactly do you mean by obsession?"

He laughed some more.

"When I was younger about seven, I herd one of those stories about cowboy's and how they take care of themselves always save the day and get the girl at the end. I wanted that. I wanted to be that. Not only that but as I got older I hated the city more and more. I just wanted to get out. I thought why not go to New Mexico and start over. I wanted to forget what had happened to me with my dad and all that... You understand, don't you?"

"Of course." I said.

It wasn't like I'd never wanted to just run away and leave the past behind. I knew exactly what he meant.

"So," I started. "do you still want to go to Santa Fe?"

"I don't know I was thinking of it after Sara and all that. But it doesn't seem to matter much now." He looked into my eyes for a while.

I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I love you." He whispered then he kissed me.

"I love you too." I said as the kiss ended.

"You staying over tonight?" Jack asked.

"I don't know..." I teased. "Maybe if someone wants me to."

Jack smirked.

"Alright then, good."

It was nice to feel wanted, safe and loved. Yes of corse I'd been in love before, this was just different. It isn't easy to describe. But once you've felt it things just seem different and new. The whole world is light and everyone and everything around you is beautiful in their own way.

A few hours later we were getting ready for bed. Jack let me borrow his clothes again. It was nice to be out of my corset for a while. I heard a knock at the door.

"Jack you can come in!" I called.

He opened the door looked at me and smiled. "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"

I felt the heat go to my cheeks.

"Your so sweet." I said.

"I try."

Jack and I climbed into bed. I rested my head on his chest.

"Goodnight honey." He said.

"Goodnight."

He kissed my forehead and I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night only to find that I was alone. I looked around the room until I saw Jack standing by the window.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He turned around and looked at me.

"Yeah I'm fine. Did I wake you up?"

"No. You sure you're alright?"

He shrugged.

I got out of bed and wrapped my arms around him.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I don't know... I'm okay."

"You don't look so okay. What's wrong? Have a bad dream or something?"

"No... I just started thinking about well my dad and all that. Just gets to me sometimes."

"I understand."

Even though I would probably never know what it was like to watch somebody die in front of my eyes. I could understand what is was like to be hurt by a parent.

"That's all in the past now. It doesn't matter." He mumbled.

"You want to go back to bed? You should relax, it's late."

He nodded.

"Alright come on." I said as I lightly pulled on his sleeve.

We got into bed.

"Goodnight." I said.

"Goodnight."


	13. Chapter 13 Fantasy

The next morning I woke up to see Jack awake and looking at me.

"Good morning. Sleep well?" He asked.

I smiled. He must have been up for a while because he was already dressed and ready to sell papers.

"Yeah. How are you feeling after last night?"

"I'm okay. Sorry about that by the way." He said.

"Don't be. That's a lot to deal with."

He shrugged. I was pretty sue he just wanted to change the subject. I pressed my lips against his.

"Love me?" I asked.

"More than anything."

"I love you too."

He looked up at the clock and sighed.

"I got to get to work." He muttered.

"I'll miss you."

He kissed me. I loved the way he kissed me.

"Wait for me here 'till I get back okay?" He told me. "I just want to make sure that you'll be okay when you come home."

"Alright I will."

"I have to go now. I love you, see you soon." He kissed my forehead.

"Bye Jack."

"Bye Maria." Jack said just before he walked out the door.

I had the second floor of the boarding house to myself for a few hours... Cool! I decided to wash up. I walked out of Jacks room. I walked down the hall and through the room that was crowded with bunks and into the wash room. I started washing my face in front of the mirror using a wet cloth. I put the cloth over my face. I started hearing things... It sounded like footsteps. I just excused it as the wind. But then I heard. "Hey Ma-"

I let out a chilling scream.

"Jesus are you alright?"The voice said.

I turned around to see Racetrack standing there. I looked at him and then all of a sudden we both started laughing.

"Race you scared the shit out of me!" I laughed.

I lightly playfully him in the arm.

"Are you working today?" I asked.

"Yeah. Some of the boys thought it would be funny if I woke up late and missed work." He rolled his eyes.

"So you and Jack are together now?"

"Yeah." I smiled.

"Congrats, you guys are good together."

"Thanks Race."

"Well I've got to be getting back to work. See you around."

The rest of my day was uneventful until Jack got back. It's mostly a blur to me.

Jack waked into the room.

"Hey honey, I'm back." He said.

"Hi Jack." Ran up to him and hugged him.

"Happy to see me?"

"Of corse."

He leaned down and kissed me.

"Jack I think I should go home soon." I confessed.

He looked disappointed. "You sure about that? I don't know how safe that would be."

"Jack I know you want me be safe as I can be but they're still my parents. I'll come back it's not like I'd leave you."

He took a deep breath.

"Maria this isn't a good idea. Just listen to me. I love you, I want you to be safe." He took my hand. "Please don't go."

I sighed. "It's still my home Jack."

"I'll walk you home then..." He sighed defeated.

"Don't worry everything will be fine." I said trying to reassure him. But honestly I think I was trying to reassure myself. I really wanted to go home for one reason. I wanted to try to talk to my parents about what had happened. Try to tell them who Jack was and make them understand me. In my mind I could see them nodding their head and taking it all in. They would smile apologize for their mistakes. Meet Jack and let me be happy with life.

Jack took my hand.

"Ready to go?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Alright then come on."

He walked me to my apartment. Yes we went inside of the building together. I just ignored the judgmental stares. At that point I didn't even care. Jack didn't seem to either.

"You get used to it." He whispered in my ear.

"Don't worry about it."

We reached the front door.

"Do you think I should go before they come?" Jack asked.

"No, let them see." I said proudly.

He smiled and knocked on the door. Patiently we waited. My mother was the one who opened the door. The second she saw us her eyes widened. The moment I saw her face I felt some of the confidence I had before get flushed down the toilet. But not all or most of it.

"Mother this is Jack." I said. "I thought it was about time you met him."

She just stood there saying nothing. She was in a state of shock. I gripped his hand tighter. She opened her mouth and closed it. As she search for what to say Jack and I just stood there in silence.

"Hello..." She mumbled.

I was surprised the only thing she came up with was hello after all that time.

"It's really nice meeting you I've been looking forward to it." Jack said holding out his hand.

She stared at it for a moment as if not knowing what he was doing. After a few awkward seconds she took his hand. Jack didn't seem to care. He just looked happy that she wasn't completely losing her mind. I smiled. Was this really happening? Was my mother shaking the hand of a poor boy? This was going better then expected!

"Well I'd better be hitting the rode. Thank you for your time." He smiled.

"Bye Jack." I chirped.

"Bye Maria."

With that he walked away.

"Come inside Maria." My mother told me.

As I walked inside I saw my father on the couch. It was then I realized that what I had thought of my parents understanding and listening to me was probably just a fantasy.


	14. Chapter 14

"And who is your little friend Maria?" Father asked taking another sip of his coffee.

He sat comfortably on the couch. I stood there uncomfortably counting the seconds to distract myself. One second, two seconds.

"His name is Jack." I said.

"Oh Jack is it?"

I just nodded.

"How often have you been seeing him Maria?"

How should I answer this? There was a lump forming in my throat. I closed my eyes. I started again. One second, two seconds, three seconds, fou-

"Maria, I asked you a question." He said cooly.

I swallowed the forming lump.

"Awhile." I choked out.

"You need to be more specific."

"I don't know exactly how long..."

"I do not want you to see that boy anymore."

I the room started to spin. I had a horrid feeling in my stomach. This wasn't happening! It could not be happening!

"No..." I thought out loud.

"To your room." He mumbled.

"I won't let-"

"To your room!" He shouted.

I took a breath to calm myself. It was fine I would just go down the fire escape anyway. I ran to my room slamming the door behind me. In a frenzy I rushed to the window, but found something new. A lock had been placed on my window and it needed a key. I felt my heart fall. For a moment I stood in a state of shock. When I finally took everything in I dropped to the ground and wept.

Jack knew that if I didn't come back I was probably being held against my will. So patiently I waited at my window. I took deep long breaths to calm myself. Finely after about twenty minutes he appeared at my window. My heart skipped a beat. It was such a relief to see him. He looked at my tear streamed face. The window is locked I mouthed. He sighed. I pressed my hand to the window. Jack did the same. I'll just stay here until morning, he mouthed. I shook my head. He nodded and laid down on the fire escape.

"I'm staying!" Jack shouted loud enough so I could hear.

I laughed a little. He made me laugh in the most serious moments. I knew he shouldn't stay but no matter how hard I tried he wouldn't move. I should have known better then to come back home. I should have also known better then to show Jack to my family. Thinking back I realize how amazingly stupid that was. But at least I had Jack with me. I'd be lucky if I ever got out now. I took a long deep breath. I looked through the window to see Jack. I blew him a kiss. He smiled. Get some rest, He mouthed. I nodded. Was it already nine o'clock? I usually stay up much later then nine, but that day had drained the life out of me. I slept like I hadn't slept in years.

In the morning when I woke up Jack was't at the window anymore and I knew he was at work. I wondered what the headline was. I woke up early that day. Probably because I'd went to bed at nine the night before. I dressed myself. It was always nice to pick out your own clothing and dress yourself. Independence on it's own was nice. I took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. I looked fine and "ladylike". Making my mother proud. I rolled my eyes at the thought. I thought of Jack. He didn't deserve what he'd gone through. If only my parents understood him like I did. Could give him a chance and see what I saw in him. For them to see why I loved him. Oh I loved him...

I walked out of my room. I was hoping with all of my heart that maybe in my fathers rage he'd forgotten to lock the door. I walked down the hall slowly. But what I saw wasn't what I at all I expected. Mother was at there table hunched over a cup of coffee. I remembered her always saying coffee was a mans drink. Yet there she was staring down at the half empty cup. I looked at her. This was a surprise.

"Maria," She said without looking at me. "I don't know where it went wrong... It's not the way I expected it to be."

There was a pause but I didn't know what to say... I'm not even sure if I was supposed to speak.

"I'm sorry. I don't know where to begin with all I've done wrong." Mother continued. "I could have been a better parent. I should have been a better parent."

She sighed. I sill wasn't sure what to say. I knew if I opened my mouth my words would probably come out stuttering and I'd be completely tongue tied. So I just stared at her. She cleared her throat to speak again, "I don't know what I can do to fix this... If anything."

"M-mother I... I mean I..." I gave up half way through the sentence. I predicted it would come out sounding amazingly stupid sounding. I knew it. I took a deep breath. She looked down at her coffee for a moment then took a long sip. I would have needed that too. She sighed.

"I still don't approve of that boy. I feel terrible to crush you in this way." She went on. "I understand that I haven't been a good mother. But you must understand."

At least I'd gotten some sort of sympathy. Barley any though. A lovely build up for something that makes me feel worse about my life. How amazingly _twisted and sick_. She was trying to justify something and it made me horrible! Sadistic!

"One day maybe we can have our family be at peace again." Mother said.

_No we can't_.


	15. Chapter 15 Sip of Tea?

Hi you guys! I'm so sorry for not posting lately I lost all my work somehow so I had to start over with a chapter that was almost done. I'm going back to my usual schedule of posting on Saturdays or Sundays starting not next weekend but the weekend after that. Thanks.

I quietly laid on my bed. God life being locked inside an apartment was boring. Not like that is a surprise. I wondered what Racetrack was doing. He seemed interesting. He was probably getting drunk off his ass. I laughed a little bit to myself. I looked over to the side of my bed and saw some candle sticks. Maybe I could use the candlesticks to break the windows and... No I didn't need a felony on my hands. I'm sure they would press charges. I sighed. I was on day two now of life locked inside your apartment. It was late afternoon and in a few hours the sun would be going down.

I knew that Jack wouldn't be coming to my window that day. He was busy. What do I have to do today? It was important wasn't it? Oh yes... lunch. I had an "important" lunch to go to. I groaned to myself.

"Why do I have to go?" I whined to no one.

I sighed. I had to go to a lunch with mother and her friends. We would drink tea, have those little sandwiches that were so little that you couldn't taste anything! I don't even like tea. I groaned again. I already knew it was going to be terrible. I had to squeeze into my corset (which I hated enough) and dress up for going to lunch. I honestly find lunch to be the least important meal. You need breakfast. You need dinner. I can live with skipping lunch for a day. I wished that day was today!

My door swung open. I turned to see my mother. Well here we go. Mother did the usual: putting a corset on me and fixing my hair. Today though my hair had to look "absolutely perfect". There couldn't be a single stray hair. Then she dressed me up in a white silk dress with black lace at the end of the sleeves, collar and end of the skirt. I pretty but I'd seen it to many times. I grew used to it.

"Well you appear prepared now." Mother said. "Let's go. We have a carriage coming for us."

I nodded and she walked out of the room.

I sighed and thought of Jack. I missed him... The last thing I needed was to go to this lunch. I looked out the window. I wished Jack could be there. I saw the coach pull up in front of the house. I knew it was time to go. I made an exaggerated sigh. I walked out of my bedroom and trudged down the hall.

"You must walk more lady like." Mother nagged.

"Yes Mother."

We walked to the coach and got in. On the way all my mother did was nag and bark at me.

"...and keep your back straight. Don't forget to use manners..." She went on.

I just nodded my head to make it seem like I was listening. I had my mind on other things. I was thinking about Jack. In fact he was all I'd been thinking of lately. I loved him so much. How could I get my mind off him?

"Are you even listening?" Mother barked snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yes mother."

She glared at me and said, "Maria sit up.". I straightened my back. She continued nagging and going on and on. Finally the carriage came to a halt in front of an apartment building. I walked out of the carriage.

"Fix your dress!" Mother demanded.

I quickly patted down the skirt of my dress. Mother grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the apartment building. She opened the door and up a winding stair case we went. She led me to the seventh floor. By the time we reached the seventh floor I was out of breath.

"Apartment 305..." Mother repeated under her breath.

Eventually mother did find the apartment. She opened the door.

"Hello Eliza, Constance, Margaret." Mother cooed.

I simply nodded. I knew not to speak. The wrong words always rolled off my tongue. They sat at a table sipping tea and eating miniature sandwiches (told you so). Eliza was a shy woman with children a bit younger than I was at the time. Constance's most noticeable feature would have to have been her bright orange hair. Margret was a bright, cheery and outgoing woman. I didn't mind the woman as much as I did for others (there had been so many others).

"Hello Helen and Maria." Margret smiled. "Come sit with us." She motioned towards a few seats with her hand.

Obediently I sat. Mother sat in the seat next to me. They began with the same mindless, boring talk about the weather and such. Boring, but nothing to horridly so.

"Would you like some tea?" Constance asked me.

"Yes thank you." I said.

Mother smiled at me.

"Well anyways, you all know of my dear friend -"Constance started.

I started choking on my tea.

"Oh are you alright?" Eliza asked instantly, like a mother tending to her child.

"Yes. Fine... Thank you." I muttered.

"As I was saying," Constance went on. "we were having a conversation about those newsboys. Disgusting creatures really. They did have a strike against him a few years ago you know."

"Yes. I understand more than you know." Mother said rolling her eyes.

"They were only trying to make fair pay. They are human and must make a living." I said trying to be polite.

I felt mother place a hand on my leg and then squeeze tightly. I ignored it.

"Yes well, being human is the only thing people like us and people like them have in common." Mother hissed.

"I wouldn't say that." I gave her a grin. "Maybe if you only spoke to one and got to know one you would see things differently."

"That is all opinion based."

"At least it is based on some reason." I snapped.

"Now, now ladies, calm down." Margret said.

I took a deep breath. How dear they? These woman who knew nothing about people like that, nothing at all! Nothing of their struggles or life. Yet they felt the need to call them "disgusting creatures"!

"No!" I said standing up. "I will not "calm down"! What do you know about the newsies?"

"Is that what they call themselves?" Mother snickered.

"Oh for once in your life shut up mother!" I shouted.

Her eyes narrowed.

"They have problem! Living in the streets and actually having a job is a lot harder than sitting on your ass all day."

I got up and started walking out of the apartment.

"Mad as a hatter." I heard.

I opened the door walked out and slammed the door behind me. I walked down the hall and down the winding stair case and out into the street.


	16. Chapter 16 Welcome Home

I opened the door of the boarding house.

"Maria? How did you get here. Jack told me you!" Kloppman started.

"Yes my parents locked me in a room but now I'm free!" I said laughing giddily.

"Well than Jack is upstairs. He'll be excited to see you."

I thanked him smiled and went upstairs. All head turned in my direction for a moment. They nodded at me or waved and went back to their own business.

"Hey Jack get the hell out here you got a visitor!" Race shouted.

"Nah Race I'm busy!" Jack answered.

Race laughed a little.

"Come on you'll like it!" Race yelled.

"Fine he I'll come out Race, but I swear!" Jack began. He started walking out side but then he stopped short when he saw me. "Maria?" He smiled.

I smiled at him. He ran up to me and wrapped me in his arms and twirled me around.

"I missed you!" I whispered.

"Missed you too."

A few people laughed and whistled.

"Shut up!" Jack yelled at them.

I just laughed.

"Come with me to my room." Jack told me.

Before I could answer Jack grabbed my hand and pulled me into his room. I was just excited and happy to be there. I was high on life. He wrapped his arms around me again.

"How'd you get out?" Jack asked.

"I left. I didn't want that life anymore."

He looked at me with a mix of confusion and shock on his face.

"Are you saying you're-"

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "I was thinking of moving into the boarding house!"

A smile spread across his face. He grabbed me and kissed me again.

"I'm guessing that means you like that idea?" I gave him a wink.

He laughed, "Well, yeah."

I smiled.

"Alright now we're going to have to teach you some things. How you got to sell papes, how you got to me make money and how you know how to save money."

I nodded my head. Jack opened the do shout, "It seems we've got a new newsie in the house!" Then there was an uproar of claps and shouts. Jack waved me over. I walked over to him. He Put an arm around me. "What we's got to do is get her someone to help her show her..." He searched for the worn "Someone to show her this ain't a rich girls world anymore."

The a last part was cold and harsh (even though it wasn't meant that way) only because it was true. It was like a splash of cold water in my face or a damn hard punch in my gut.

"So," Jack continued. "who's up to it?"

"I'll do it." A voice said.

Faith stepped out of the crowed with her hand raised. Jack looked surprised.

"Well than that's how it goes I guess." Jack said.

Faith smiled. I was fine with it. I knew exactly why Jack had wanted someone else to help me out with being a newsie. He wanted me to get to know my fellow newsies.

"When do we start?" I asked looking at Faith.

"Whenever your ready."

I looked around. I have to fit down as much as I can, I thought.

"Now is good a time as any." I chirped.

She shrugged, "How about this, we start tomorrow. I can show you how we sell."

"Okay." I muttered.

"Hey! You guys!" Race yelled. "Dinner's done!"

The newsies scrambled down the stairs like animals. Pushing, shoving and it was almost as if they were ready to kill each other over dinner.

"Ah don't worry you'll get used to them." Jake laughed.

I smiled up at him.

"I'm sure I will."

"Alright," Jack took my hand. "I'll take you downstairs."

He walked me down the stairs and led me to a room with a long table down the center of the room. Newsies were laughing, shouting, throwing forks and spoons at each other. I was not used to this.

"We need to pay. I've got more money don't worry." Jack told me.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure." He smiled.

Kloppman came into the room.

"Everybody! Everybody! I need your pay!" Kloppman said trying to yell over the noise, yet nobody heard.

Kloppman rolled his eyes. He went to the kitchen and came back with a fork and a pot. He banged them together.

"Listen up!" He screamed.

And then the room when completely silent. It was like you could hear a pin drop.

"Now I need your pay." Kloppman said.

Everybody reached into their pockets and pulled out some coins. Kloppman walked around and collected everyones money.

"Alright... Now, back to what you were doing."

The mayhem began once again.

"We'd better get a seat." Jack said.

We took a seat around Mush and Kid Blink. We talked about everything from headlines to some idiot messenger boys names Oscar and Morris that Blink soaked that day. I may have heard of those boys before but I wasn't really sure.

"Them Delancey's should have started working at the Staten Island dump."Kid Blink laughed.

"Hey!" Faith screamed from across the table. "Don't talk bad about Richmond!"

"Shut up." Blink muttered.

"What was wrong with Faith?" I asked.

"She was born in Staten Island." Jack explained.

I nodded. We had some watery soup. But it tasted decent. Soon dinner was over and everybody went upstairs.

"Where do I sleep?"I asked.

"I was hoping my room."Jack smiled.

"Why not."

He took me to his room.

"Alright you want to sleep in my cloths tonight?" Jack asked me.

"Sure."

Jack passed my a top and a pair of pants and let me get changed by myself. Once I was done I told Jack to come back inside.

"Ready for bed?" He asked.

"Yeah." I nodded.

We got in bed together and I silently fell asleep.


	17. Chapter 17 First Day

I was shaken awake by a loud, "Wake the hell up!"

I sat straight up and screamed. Jack was already awake.

"Race!" Jack screamed. "How the hell did you get in here?"

"Open door." Racetrack laughed.

"Get out of my room." Jack said sternly.

Race walked out of the room laughing so hard he could barely stand.

"Lovely way to wake up in the morning... He scared the shit out of me." I mumbled.

Jack laughed, "You said it. Ready to sell papers today?"

"Yeah."

"You can't wear the cloths your used to wearing." Jack said.

"Why?" I asked.

"You'll sell more papers. You can wear some of my cloths, if that's what you want."

"Sure, I don't have a problem with it."

I felt a little stupid, idiotic and out of place. I felt like such a dumb ass asking why I should I wear my usual clothing. But I shoved that out of my mind. Why think about it? I didn't need to. I'd be one of the newsies before I knew it.

He nodded and picked out a shirt and some pants for me from a pile in the corner.

"Thanks." I said.

"Faith'll teach you how to sell today. I'm sure you'll get used to it quick."

I blushed and looked down. He brushed my cheek.

"I love you."He whispered.

"I love you too."

He smiled, "Alright, I'll let you get dressed."

He kissed my lips and walked out of the room closing the door behind him. I changed out of Jacks cloths and got into his other cloths. I smiled because I'd just realized... No more corsets!

"I'm done Jack." I called.

Jack walked up to me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Looking stunning as always." He kissed my cheek.

"Handsome as always."

"Ready for your first day on the job?" Jack asked.

"You know it."

He nudged me lightly, "Alright lets head to the newspaper stand."

I smiled at him.

Jack and I walked to the news stand. Faith was there. She walked over to us.

"Hey, ready to sell?" She asked me.

"Yeah."

"Alright. Jack we'll see you after we finish selling, okay?"

He nodded his head and kissed me goodbye. Instantly she started talking about papers, how to sell them, how many I should buy.

"I usually by about fifty papers. Some buy one hundred, but for me fifty is easier to sell." She explained.

I nodded trying to take in all of the information she continued saying. We bought fifty papers each. The man in the stand gave me a huge bundle of newspapers which I could barely carry.

"So your going to need a selling spot..." She paused to think. "Well you're going to want to stay far away from your old apartment."

"We're pretty far."

"How far?"

I shrugged. How would I know? How many yards or miles are you from your old house?

"Well than we go farther." She declared.

She grabbed my wrist and pulled me through crowded city streets. It was so difficult to carry those damn papers! We pushed past people until Faith finally called out, "This seems like a good place."

She inspected the street.

"Yes, defiantly a good place. You're lucky, we've got a good headline."Faith said.

The headline read: Man Burned to Death in Queens.

"That horrible!" I exclaimed.

"It's wonderful." Faith smiled.

I glared at her. Faith just shrugged, "It sells. I thought Jack said you know good headlines."

She nudged me and winked.

"Just watch what I do and repeat." She told me.

She took out newspaper out of the bundle and held it up high.

"Extra! Extra! Read all about it, man burned to death!" She screamed.

In an instant a few people stopped and turned their heads. They each brought a newspaper.

"You try now." She said.  
I took one paper out of the bundle raised my arm and shouted,"Extra! Extra! Read all about it, man burns to death in Queens!"

Four people stopped and bought newspapers from me. I smiled proudly. It was nice to be able to do something on my own. I'd never really done anything on my own or been able to do something on my own. I'd never been able to. I was free. I was on my own.

"Alright now keep shouting that headline."

I did. Eventually Faith and I sold all of my newspapers. Faith also taught me how to trick people out of their money. She said I was pretty good at that. She told me how to "play sick".

"Hey Faith," I asked. "what was your worst day on the job?"

"Why do you ask?"

I shrugged, "Just curious."

"Some guy came up to me stole all my earnings. Barely had enough to pay for dinner. Lucky me though I was seven and still cute enough to beg." She gave me a fake smile.

"Well isn't that nice?" I said sarcastically.

"Yes, yes it was."

I figured I'd make nice talk. I'd need to be a newsie and that means I'd needed to know the rest of them. We started walking back to the boarding house. Faith pulled a cigarette out of her shirt pocket, she lit it with a match and put it in her mouth.

"You want one?" Faith asked gesturing to the cigarette in her mouth.

"I don't smoke." I said instinctively.

She nodded. Suddenly I realized I didn't have to be "lady like" anymore!

"Actually," I said. "I'll have one."

She looked a bit surprised.

"Alright."

She took a cigarette and match out of her pocket. Then she handed it to me. I lit the cigarette and put it in my mouth. In a second I started hacking.

"Fist time?" Faith asked.

"No... Second." I mumbled.

She smirked.

"Just trow it on the ground, for your own good." She joked.

I blushed from embarrassment. I dropped the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it to put it out. We continued walking.

"Race and I are going to Tibby's tonight. You want to come?" She asked.

"Sure, I'd love to."

She smiled, "Good to hear."

We finally reached the boarding house.

"Hey, you guys!" Race shouted from the fire escape. "Get inside, we've been waiting!"

He crawled inside the boarding house yelling, "They came back!"

"We're the last one's back." Faith muttered.

"How do you know?"

"Race is... excited."

Faith walked inside and I followed. Jack greeted me with a hug at the door.

"I was waiting for you." He whispered in my ear.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

He laughed bit.

"I got invited to Tibby's with Racetrack and Faith."I said.

"Thats great!"

I smiled, "And I sold all my papers today."

"I'm so proud of you."He kissed my neck.

"Hey, you guys want to stop... that and come up stairs." We heard.

Racetrack stood on the stairs.

"We're coming." Jack mumbled.

"We should head upstairs." I said.

"Alright. Come on."


	18. Chapter 18 To a New Beginning

It was eight o'clock. I was walking down the street with Faith and Race. The streets seemed far less crowded then usual. But than again that could have just been to my untrained eye. They talked about the newspapers and headlines. They seemed to be the biggest things to them (or most of the newsies) . They were talking about an older story I remembered my father yapping about one day at dinner... Funny how something can come up later in life that you haven't thought about in so long.

"I mean it hasn't been in the papers for a week, that means they did not solve the case." Race explained.

"Didn't solve the case_ yet_."Faith corrected.

Race sighed.

"Didn't solve the case _yet._" He repeated.

"Good job." Faith patted him on the back.

Racetrack turned back to me and said, "We're almost there."

I gave him a thumbs up.

"Thanks." I smiled.

"Hey,"Race said. "you want try at a cigar?"

He held one of the cigars out to me. I could remember my father smoking with his worker colleges on our patio in New Jersey. The thought made my stomach churn.

"No thanks." I muttered.

He nodded, "More for me than."

I wanted nothing to do with my father. I wished I could just forget about him and mother. Just let them slip away. One day they'd probably be gone. Maybe they would go back to New Jersey or upstate New York. Maybe then I could have peace, finally. That is if they'd leave me alone.

We managed to get to Tibby's in a little bit. I remembered the deli from the breakfast I'd had with Jack. I smiles. We sat down in our seats.

"What you getin' ?" Racetrack asked no even touching his menu.

"I don't know." Faith shrugged. "What you getting?"

"Same as always." Race said.

"Why am I not surprised?" She laughed.

I stared at the menu.

"Get something cheap." Race instructed me. "You'll save more money."

I'd been so used to getting whatever I wanted, regardless of the cost. The life of a newsie was so much different. It was all unfamiliar. I looked down at the menu again. Soup wasn't so much. Besides soup was always a warm, descent meal.

"Thank you Anthon-" I started.

_"Racetrack." _He corrected.

He gave me a smile.

"I'm sorry Racetrack."

"Nah, don't worry about it!"

A waiter walked over to our table. He was young maybe fourteen.

"Any drinks?" He asked holding a small notepad in front of him with a pencil.

"I'll have water." I said.

"Same for the rest of us." Faith said.

Quickly John scribbled our answers down. Faith looked around the room, it was nearly empty.

"Slow night John?" She asked the waiter.

He nodded his head, "Yeah. Lucky seeing you here. How you doing Race?"

"I'm alright. This is the newest addition to the Manhattan newsies, Maria or Porcelain."

"Nice to meet you." He smiled. "I'll be back with your drinks shortly."

He turned and walked off to the kitchen in the back.

"Faith you haven't been to Brooklyn for a while hows everything doing?" Race asked stiffly.

Faith got quiet.

"Spot has just been busy... He's fine, we're fine." She mumbled.

Faith looked down. I thought of the how close Faith and Spot had been the last time I saw them together. I could tell based on the bay she was speaking and how she was slumping down in her seat and trying to make herself look small that nothing was "fine". What could have happened?

John was back with our drinks. He set each glass of water down on the table in front of us.

"What are you guys having to eat?"He asked.

He held out the notepad and pencil out on front of him once again.

"I'll have..." Faith paused to inspect the menu. "I'll have a roast beef sandwich."

John looked at her oddly.

"You hate roast beef." John snickered.

"I want to try something new!" Faith protested.

"I think you should get something else, just to be safe."

Faith sighed, "Fine, fine. I'll get a bagel with butter."

John wrote it down on the notepad.

"I'll have the soup." I said giving him a smile.

He nodded and wrote it down.

"Salami sandwich, right Race?" John asked.

"You know it,"Race smiled. "like always."

"You'll have your food in a moment."

He walked off to the kitchen.

"So," Racetrack said. "first day on the job. How does hit feel?"

"It was great! I had a lot of fun. Faith is a really good teacher." I exclaimed.

"Well she learned from the best!" Race shouted.

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled he in.

"Race... c-can't... breath..." She stuttered.

Racetrack had grabbed her from behind the neck. Race let her go and laughed. Faith gasped for air. Then she pushed him.

"Stop doing that damn it!" Faith laughed (even though she was trying to be serious) "It gives me bad flashbacks."

I laughed a little bit to. But "bad flashbacks"? What did she mean? It seemed there were things I didn't know about her...

"By the way you didn't teach my anything. Hell, you learned from me." Faith announced proudly. "And Maria is a good learner. She still has some things to perfect, but other than that not to shabby."

He laughed and gave me a thumbs up. John was back with our food. Soup for me, a buttered bagel for Faith and a salami sandwich for Race. Race slowly raised his glass.

"I propose a toast!"He exclaimed.

All of us raised our classes.

"To a new beginning."

**This chapter was celebrated with The Dark Knight Rises and spare ribs.**


	19. Chapter 19 Pieces

I woke up wrapped in Jacks arms... It must have been early. I looked at the the window. Yes I was up early, the sun was just rising. Maybe it was five in the morning. It couldn't be anytime before that. I looked at Jack, he was soundly sleeping. I wondered what he was dreaming about.

I sat up and got dressed. I figured I might as well get an early start. I kissed Jack on the cheek. I walked out through through the room crowded with bunk and into the wash room. Faith stood there leaning over a sink with her hands on her face.

"Hey," I said in a low voice. "are you okay?"

She turned around.

"I'm fine. I'm just... tired." She said cooly.

The was a pause. She looked down at the floor. She opened her mouth closed it then opened it again and said, "By the way, I won't be selling papes today. I'll be selling again tomorrow."

"Alright. Why you up so early?" I asked.

"I just couldn't sleep. You?"  
"Woke up early."

She nodded slowly.

"I'll see you later." She mumbled abruptly.

She hurried out onto the fire escape. I watched her go. Why did she feel the need to go? Maybe she just needed to be alone. But what set her off? I washed my face and got ready. Every now and then I'd look to see if she was okay.

Soon people started waking up. It started with Blink who woke up Mush, then woke Boots, who woke the cat, who ate the rat, who lived in the house that Jack built. Race walked over to me.

"Hey Porcelain. How's it going?" He asked.

"I'm alright." I paused for a moment. "What's Faith doing?"

"Oh... She's just going through some stuff."

Maybe he could use a better noun then stuff, but I wouldn't say anything. Wait maybe I was "proper"... Damn.

"Personal?" I asked.

"Personal." He affirmed.

"Well then no more questions."

I didn't want to be that person that drilled you for information until you finally gave in.

"She won't tell me anyway." Race mumbled.

I could see disappointment on his face.

"I'm sure she'll come out with it soon. She'll talk to you before anybody." I reassured him.

"Not me, Spot would be her first person to go to."

I'd almost completely forgot about Spot. What was his last name? Something with... A c right?

"But you're best friends**-**" I started.

"Yeah since we were five. But she loves Spot. He's important to her." He shrugged. "I get that."

I nodded. I understood also. I thought of Jack...

"Yeah, I get it too." I said in a low voice. "I'm sure she'll be fine."

I gave him a smile, a smile which he returned.

"Hey."I heard.

Jack walked in.

"Where were you this morning?" Jack asked.

"I figured I'd get an early start." I explained.

He wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed my head.

"Why's Faith sitting on the fire escape?" Jack asked.

"She won't tell me." Race said in an annoyed tone of voice.

"She's just in a mood." Jack rolled his eyes.

"Don't be like that Jack, maybe she's going through something." I said.

"Oh yeah like what?" Jack muttered.

"Shut up Jack, she has issues." Race gave him a look. "I've got to get selling."

Race stormed off. Jack sighed, "I pissed his off."

"You defiantly did."

"I didn't mean to."

"I know, I know. I have to go sell. I love you." I kissed his cheek.

He smiled, "I love you too."

"Will I see you by the news stand?" I asked.

His face lit up.

"We'll see."

He winked at me. I laughed a bit. Yes, he'd be there. I started walking out of the boarding house.

"Hey!" I heard.

I looked up. Faith stood leaning over the balcony.

"Don't forget to be loud! Get attention from buyers, got that?" She shouted.

"Yeah, I got that!"

Faith's newsie wisdom. I continued walking until I got to the newsstand, where Jack met up with me about five minutes after I 'd gotten there. I bought about fifty papers that day. I walked to the spot I'd been yesterday. I'd gotten an okay headline, a fire (but this time nobody died). I remembered what Faith said : "Don't forget to be loud! Get attention from buyers..."

"Extra! Extra! Read all about it fire in Richmond!"

I quickly sold all of my papers. It wasn't a hard headline to sell. I headed back to the boarding house.

Faith was still on the fire escape. I wondered what was bothering her... Something had to be. It seemed to be resent because nobody seemed to have noticed until today. Also she'd gotten quiet and had seemed uncomfortable while we were at Tibby's last night. We were talking about Spot Conlon. It seemed to make sense once I put the pieces together.


	20. Chapter 20 Mutilated Pasts

I sat on the bed.

"Jack I'm telling you something is wrong!"I protested.

"Maria, nothing is wrong." Jack shook his head.

"No, Jack you have to listen to-"

"Faith is fine."

"Can you just talk to her?" I asked.

Jack stayed silent.

"Please! Please!Please!Please!Please!Please! Plea-"

"Alright!"He said. "Alright, just make it stop."

I laughed. I stood and walked over to him.

"Thank you." I kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll talk to her first thing in the morning, okay?"

"Yes, okay."

He kissed my forehead.

"So how'd you sell today?" He asked.

"I did well. I was a bit distracted today. How about you?"

"Same as usual." He shrugged.

I was just glad he had finally given in, after thirty minutes of bickering.

"I'm just worried about Faith." I said.

"I know, I know."

"She's my friend and I really think she's... upset about something."

"Don't worry about it. I promised you that I'd talk to her, didn't I?"

"I know you did." I smiled. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me. I only want to make you happy, I love you."

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me lightly.

"Jack, I'm going to head out for a little while, okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, have a good time. Be back soon."

"Don't worry I'll be right on time."

"No, you have to swear it." Jack smiled.

I laughed, "I swear it. Are you happy now?"

"Yeah, very happy. Have fun."

"I will."

I opened the door and walked out of the room.

"Hey Porcelain, how you doing?" I heard.

I turned to see Kid Blink.

"I'm fine." I said. "Hey Blink, do you know where Faith is?"

"I don't know,"He shrugged. " but maybe she's out on the fire escape, that's the first place I would look."

"Thanks." I said as I gave him a kind smile.

I began to walk away. I looked out the window and there was Faith sitting by the railing of the fire escape. I crawled through the window.

"Hey Faith." I greeted her.

She turned quickly.

"Oh Maria. You scared the crap out of me!" She laughed.

"I'm sorry about that."

"Oh no don't worry about that." She shrugged.

"So," I started. "how are you doing?"

She talked a deep breath.

"I've been better." She murmured.

"I know what you're talking about. What's bothering you?"

"God... It's such a long story."

I stood there for a moment wondering what to say. I really had no idea how to respond.

"We've all had our days." I tried.

"More like weeks."

I nodded.

"You know Maria, it's really nice to have another girl in the boarding house."

Her words were kind, but she was obviously trying to change the topic.

"Thanks." I smiled.

"I like living with the guys. But it's nice to be able to talk to someone who's your same gender."

She let out a sigh.

I laughed. I saw something on Faiths arm,

"What is that?" I asked pointing to her arm.

Faith looked down at her arm.

"Oh that? Just a scar, from when I was younger."

"What happened?"

"My dad would hit me."

"Mine to."

"I know."

"How?"

"Jack."

My mouth formed a silent oh.

"Does everybody have something that happened to them in their childhood or past?" I asked.

"Yeah. Welcome to the home of horrid childhoods and mutilated pasts."

She had a decent vocabulary. I was surprised (not completely but a bit). Once again I was clueless on how to respond.

"It's not just you and Jack trust me." Faith said.

I nodded slowly.

"That's how most of us get on the street. We're either orphans or runaways. Everything from abusive childhoods to ragging fires. It gives us something similar." Faith explained.

"How bad was it?" I asked.

"Pretty bad. But that was a long, long time ago. It doesn't really matter anymore."

"What's been bothering you, if it isn't that."

Oh god, I hadn't meant to say that! I stood there awkwardly, hoping that she had not heard what I'd said. Faith sighed, "Issues in Brooklyn." Faith paused. "It's nothing to worry about. I'm just worried for Spot's sake. He's been acting... strange lately."

"Why do you think?"

"I'm clueless, absolutely clueless." She shook her head.

"I'm sure he's fine."

"You're probably right," She smiled. "thanks."

"No problem. I'd better head in, it's getting late."

"Yeah. I'll see you."

"Bye."

"Bye."


	21. Chapter 21 City Girl

Jack walked into the bed room.

"It's late." I said disapprovingly.

"I know it's late things took longer then I expected."

I shook my head. What was I saying? I must have sounded horrible! I stood up and wrapped my arms around him.

"I'm sorry about what happened." I whispered.

He simply nodded.

"Does it look like he's getting any better?" I asked hopefully.

"I don't know... But honestly, I think he's fading fast." He looked down.

"I'm sorry I know you're all so close-"

"Don't be like that, there is _still _a chance."

"He needs a doctor."

"You know none of us can pay for that. If we put our money together then by the time we have enough then..." He sighed.

I released him from my hold.

"You should have let me go with you to see him."

"No, you shouldn't have. I don't need you catching whatever he has."

"But-"

"No! None of that!"

The sudden anger in his voice scares me. He looked at me for a moment.

"I'm sorry. It's late, I'm tired." He shook his head.

There was a long pause between us. It made us both awkward and uncomfortable.

"I'm sleeping in one of the empty bunks, I don't want you getting sick."

He turned around and opened the door to walk out.

"Jack." I called.

He turned around to look at me.

"What is it honey."

His lips turned up in a smile, likely more for me then him.

"Spot's going to be okay."

"I hope so." He nodded his head. "I love you."

"I love you too."

He closed the door and it was just me standing alone in a room. I sat down. It was simple, Spot Conlon was walking a thin line between life and death. I remembered him, crystal blue eyes, sandy hair, pain skin and surely Irish. I sat down. It was all wrong! I came here to escape didn't I?

Not to get wrapped up in some mess of fear and death and starvation... I'd lost several pounds in my time at the boarding house. But thinking about that seemed selfish. It had been a week since I had talked to Faith on the fire escape about Spot. We didn't know much then, but now we know how ill he is. We know because he came out. He finally told us because he was bed written.

Faith hadn't taken it well. But then again nobody did, really. She'd been quiet lately. The poor girl was so scared scared. Faith still sold her newspapers. Life went on. I looked down at my hands. Now they were dry and cracked. It was from being outside. I didn't go outside much when I was a rich girl. Well when I lived in New Jersey I hardly ever went outside. I shouldn't think of that. I laid down on Jacks bed and stared at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and slept.

In the morning I awoke to the sound of yelling. But it wasn't the usual screams and shouts... It was like the yelling of my parents fighting, yelling and screaming. I was able to ignore the shouts long enough to dress myself. But then I couldn't take it anymore! I marched over to the door and through it open. Jack and Faith were screaming at each other. I turned my head to the side slightly. Jack and Faith? I had expected it to be the stupidity of some of the boys. I thought some boys would be fighting over something that didn't really matter. I hadn't been expecting this at all.

"I can't sell today!" Faith yelled.

"I'm not about to let you just stop selling."

She sighed, "Jack, _I am busy._"

"No."

Jack shook his head.

"It's only for today." She tried to explain. "It isn't like I'm just going to stop selling all together."

"You're going to take off today, then in two days you'll take off again. Soon you'll keep doing it more and more and-"

"No! I won't! I'm not going to keep fighting with you about this. I'm leaving."

Jack grabbed her arm.

"No you're not leaving."

"This has nothing to do with you." She hissed.

Nobody was aware I was standing there in the doorway, watching these events unfold in front of my eyes. Jack let go of Faiths arm.

"Fine, fine. Go ahead, run off to Brooklyn and go see your boyfriend. You ain't got enough money, not my fault. You get sick some how, not my fault." He snarled.

Faith glowered at him. She said nothing. But her look said all that needed to be said. She stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind her. We all could still hear her stomping down the stairs and then we heard here slam the door front door. It grew silent, oddly silent.

Jack sighed and turned around. He looked right at me.

"Did I wake you up?" He asked breaking the silence.

I shook my head.

"No..." I lied.

He nodded. Jack clapped his hands together.

"Well alright, lets get ready to go." He shouted.

I walked quickly to the washroom, avoiding Jack's gaze. Before I could reach the washroom Jack placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey," He whispered. "you okay?"

I looked up at him.

"I'm fine... You just scared me a little." I admitted.

He wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm sorry, but you know I'm just trying to do what's best for her."

"I know Jack, but she's grieving right now. Just give her some time. You've been through some very hard things in life. But you had to find a way to cope, so does she."

"I'll talk to Faith the next time I see her, to apologize. Will you be happy if I do that?"

"Yes, but I don't want you to do this for me."

"Okay." He kissed me.

I smiled.

"Now get dressed." I said.

I shoved him playfully. He smiled at me and started to walk away.

I walked to the washroom and washed my face and hair.

"Hey Porcelain." I heard.

I turned to see Kid Blink washing his face in the sink next to me.

"Good morning." I said.

"Morning. Some fight back there between Jack and Faith, eh?"

He nudged me.

"Yeah." I said.

Now that Jack was gone the boys were free to gossip as much as they wished.

"Poor Spot though... You think he's going to make it?" Blink asked.

I shrugged, "I haven't seen him. But I hope he's aright."

"I know you don't know him to much. If he gets through this then you'll get to know him better, trust me."

"I really hope he gets through this."

Slowly Kid Blink nodded.

"Yeah..."

We walked out of the boarding house. I bought twenty-fife newspapers. I needed some time alone for thinking, for I bought half of usual number of papers. I sold them fast (as you would expect by selling few papers). I walked home.

"Hello Maria, how was your selling?" Kloppman asked when I entered.

"It was great."

"You got back here fast."

"Yeah, I just sold twenty five papers today."

"Well, have a good day." Kloppman smiled.

"Thank you ," I said in a proper voice that I hadn't used for quiet awhile. "I hope your day is lovely also."

I walked upstairs. I walked into Jacks room and laid down. I was desperate for a nap.


	22. Chapter 22 A Visit

**I'm so sorry for the ****wait! My laptop broke and I was behind. Well thanks for returning. Enjoy!  
**

I sat on one of the bunks. Race and I were getting ready.

"We almost ready?" Faith asked.

Faith was standing by the door.

"I'm pretty much done, I'm waiting on him." I gestured towards Race with my head. I was lacing up my right shoe and had no free hands. He was combing his hair. He did it in delicate strokes as if he feared a fast stroke might take off his head.

"So, be patient!" He hissed.

I rolled my eyes as I tied the finishing bow on my shoe.

"Done." I announced.

"One down, one more to go." Faith muttered.

"Hey, I'm almost done!" Racetrack barked.

"Then hurry it up will you, we ain't got all day." Faith said.

"God Faith, don't rush me. He's probably sleeping anyway." Race murmured.

"Does it really matter if he's awake or not? It's respectful to-" I started.

"We don't got to have manners anymore. We don't have our pockets filled with money." Race snapped.

"Just pick up the pace." I groaned.

"Then give me some time!"

Faith let out a whine of displeasure. She sat next tome on the bunk.

"How long is this going to take?" Faith asked.

"One more minute!"He shouted.

"All of New York can hear you pipe down!" Faith moaned.

"Will the both of you _shut up_?" I hissed.

The room when silent.

"We have to go to Brooklyn. Race your hair looks fine. Now lets go." I said.

Hesitantly Racetrack placed the comb down on the sink. He glared at Faith then me.

"Lets go!" Faith yelled.

Race, Faith and I walked out the boarding house, through the crowded streets, across the Brooklyn Bridge and to the Brooklyn Boarding house.

"Spot is probably sleep-" Faith started.

"Told you so." Race hissed.

I gave him a shove.

"Thank you for that Porcelain." Faith said.

"Not a problem." I said.

Race's eyebrows drew closer together.

"What's with the bad mood?" I whispered in his ear.

He shrugged.

"Guess I just don't like seeing people die."

I looked over at Faith to make sure she didn't hear. It seemed she hadn't. Thank god she didn't hear, because if she did she would have lost her mind. I had no more questions for him. We walked into the boarding house. It was similar to ours just a bit different, when it came to wallpapers and things. We walked upstairs. Now upstairs was quiet different from the Manhattan boarding house. Instead of just one separate room there were several rooms. Several boys were crowded into an area with bunks. More newsies in Brooklyn then Manhattan that's for sure.

"Hey you guys," Faith said, she obviously knows them far better then I do. "where is he?"

"His room." One answers.

"Is he... He okay?" Her voice cracks.

The boy shrugs, "I ain't no doctor."

"Well thanks for that small scrap of information." She murmured.

Faith turned to us.

"Let's go you guys."

We started walking down a hallway. Boring white chipping paint covered the walls (well most of them technically). I was studying the chipping walls, scuffed wooden floors and everything in between when Faith and Race abruptly stopped.

"I'll go and talk to him and... I guess you can stay out here and I'll tell you if he wants to see you." Faith proposed.

She seemed nervous. No she didn't seem it everything about her screamed it. Minuscule goosebumps dotted her arms, with her left hand she was rubbing her index and pointer finger pointer finger against her thumb and swaying lightly. After a short pause Faith opened a door and walked through. I leaned on a wall and heard a noticeable crunch. I looked down and saw paint chips around my feet. This lodging house seemed to be falling apart.

"You think he's okay?" Race said.

"I'd tell you if I saw him."

"I know that you don't know him that well, but he's a good guy. Well good when he isn't in a bad mood." He smirked.

"That's the way he seemed when I met him."

I'd only met him once but he seemed to have this legacy. An icon to the other newsies, a great leader. Another moment of silence. The door opened to reveal a distracted Faith. She turned to me.

"He wants you." She said.

"_Me?_" I asked.

"Yeah."

I paused.

"Why me?"

Faith shrugged, "I don't know. He just said he wanted to talk to you."

Race snarled.

"And you _next _Race. Patience is a virtue." Faith said to answer his snarl.

He leaned against the door and rolled his eyes.

"Race don't be such a bitch." Faith muttered.

Race gave her an intense irate glare. I took in a sharp breath.

"Better be heading in then." I murmured.

Quickly I turned opened the door and walked inside. Inside Spot lay in a small bed, in what looked like the fetal position covered by cotton vanilla sheets piled on top of each other to mimic a quilt. He was completely turned away from me.

"Hey." He said in a weak and horse voice.

Maybe that was where Faith learned to simply know another presence was in the room... Or maybe he just heard the loud creek of the door when I came in. Probably the ladder. I walked over to the other side of the bed. He looked up at me and his eyes squinted as if they were unable to focus.

"Hi." I whispered.

I was kind of shocked by his appearance. His skin was pasty white like milk or snow, the blue eyes that had caught me off guard were now more like a gray fog then a sea blue.

"Sit." He pointed at a small wooden chair in the corner.

His hand quivered as he pointed. I took the chair brought it closer to his bed and sat.

"You must be cold huh?" I asked as I examined the cotton sheets that were stacked on top of him.

He laughed a little and then coughed a little. At least he wasn't hacking up his lungs.

"Well it looks that way, doesn't it?" He paused. "What are they saying about me?"

"Faith didn't tell you?"

"She's close, she wouldn't want to hurt me. But it's not like it would hurt me anyway."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I've been through worse. Go on you can tell me."

I swallowed hard.

"Well... They say you're dying, sometimes you can't breath, you faint and you can't walk."

He smirked.

"Really? Don't believe everything you hear. Most of that is..." He searched for the word. "unrealistic."

"That's good to hear."

"That isn't what I wanted to talk to you about though. I want you to keep an eye on Faith... If anything happens I want her be okay. She likes you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She likes having another girl 'round."

We left in another hour and I was left with one burning question. Did Spot know he might die?


	23. Chapter 23 His Voice Was Mournful

We sat around the long table for dinner. Once rowdy, rambunctious boys, were now quiet and polite. It all seemed tense... Barely anyone spoke. Some played with their kitchen utensils, maybe to distract themselves. Others twiddles their thumbs. I just sat staring at my food. I didn't eat very much. I'd lost my appetite. After I'd finished I walked upstairs and into Jacks room. I sat on the bed in silence. If Jack found out I'd gone to see Spot he'd be quiet angry. He hadn't even wanted me to go in the first place.

Also, what about that question I was left with after going going to see Spot. Did he know that he was going to die? Maybe he knew it was a possibility, so he wanted to make sure that Faith would be stable after his possible death. He had said that it the rumors were unrealistic. They were just rumors after all. People can fabricate rumors. But now everyone was worried and everything was so tense and uncomfortable for all of the newsies because of this rumor. The way Spot looked made it obvious to me that he was suffering from something far worse then the common cold.

I sighed. So many questions to ask, with no answers to them! I laid back on the bed. I had no clue what to do now. Do I tell Faith? No, I probably shouldn't. Faith would most likely react negatively. I can't blame he anyway, I'd be pretty distraught too if my love died. Thinking of this was frustrating! Do I tell Race? Well based on the way he was acting earlier that day I shouldn't, but based on the way he usually acted it was still an option. I couldn't tell most of the other newsies (especially Kid Blink) about this because of the way they had spread rumors about Spot dying. What it had boiled down to was: do I tell anyone at all?

I had no idea.

I heard the door open, this snapped my out of thoughts. I sat up. Jack stood in the door.

"Hey." He murmured as he walked inside.

He sat down on the bed next to me.

"Hi Jack. Are you okay?" I asked.

He looked tired. I placed a hand on his shoulder. He didn't answer.

"Jack, are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine, just a bad selling day. I had to work long hours, I feel tired." He sighed.

"Then sleep here with me."

He shook his head.

"I've got to go out tonight." He explained.

"With who?"

"No, not like that. I'm just going out to get some air."

"Clearing your head?"

"Exactly. It's just been a tough week, for everybody."

"Than go out." I kissed his cheek. "Feel better."

He smiled.

"Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it." He whispered.

Jack touched my cheek.

"I love you." He added.

"I love you too."

He walked out of the room. Then there I was sitting in a small room alone.

Then there was a knock at the door.

"Jack isn't here." I said.

"I'm here to talk to you, not Jack."

It was Racetrack's voice. Even though the door made his voice muffled it was still unmistakable. I expected that he was here to joke about something like he usually was, or that he was here to apologize for the way he had acted earlier that day. I opened the door.

"Hi." I greeted.

He cleared his throat.

"I wanted to apologize for earlier today." He murmured.

He leaned against the door frame.

"Can I come in?" Race asked.

"Yeah."

He walked in and closed the door behind him. What do I do now? How do I stay in a room with this person without blurting out what I was thinking about Spot?

"So how you doing?" He asked.

"Nothing."

"Oh... Alright."

We stood in awkward silence for a moment. Race bit his lip.

"Is Faith still mad at you?" I asked.

Earlier Faith was a bit unruffled because of what happened with Racetrack. Race smirked.

"I think that you know the answer already." He laughed.

"You'd better not have let anyone know we went to see Spot today."

He cocked his head to the side. He looked extremely confused.

"Jack didn't want me to see him and become ill. Didn't I tell you this?" I hissed.

He raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

"I have to remember?"

I sighed, what Spot had told me was begging me to tell Race.

"Race I've got something to talk to you about. I may sound absolutely mad, but you have to hear me out." I explained.

"Nah, I'm not going to think you're crazy."

He looked at me and winked. I smiled in response. I took in a breath. Then I blurted it all out. After there was a pause causing me to feel slight sting of regret.

"So," Race said finally. "like you said you can look at this in many different ways. He's probably just trying to make sure Faith is alright, just in case."

"But you had to have heard the way he said it... It seemed... Well, I can't even explain it. It felt mournful, maybe that's a way to describe it. He seemed mournful, yet he was trying to hide it. Did you follow? It seemed kind of hard to follow." I tried.

"I followed. He was sick, I'm sure that is all it was. He was sick, he was tired. That can make your voice sound different."

"I've been sick before Racetrack. It wasn't like that. His voice was raspy, but that's not at all what I mean."

He smiled, "I wouldn't worry."

He found my thoughts endearing, like a child's wild imagination. Maybe he was just trying to bring some more realism to my thoughts.

"Alright... I'll try not to worry about it so much." I sighed.

"Good." He declared.

Racetrack turned to walk out of the room.

"Race!" I called.

He turned quickly.

"Something wrong?" He asked.

"You _can not _tell Faith." I said, my voice firm.

"I know, I know. Faith won't even look at me for a while, let alone talk to me." He joked.

I smiled.

"Okay than, good luck out there." I laughed.

He winked and walked out of the room, leaving the door open.

"Close the door Race!" I hissed.

"Sorry about that." He mumbled as he quickly closed the door.

Well... Maybe he was right. Maybe I needed to look ay it more realistically.


	24. Chapter 24 The Bottle of Whine

**Oh god... I'm so sorry. It has been a really long time I know, thanks to those who actually came back.**

A room in the lodging house had never been so loud, yet yesterday it had never been so silent. It was late and they were drinking. Alcohol was the source of their loudness tonight. Jack wasn't there at the time. He was "going out". He didn't add where. Jack had been doing that a lot lately... I wanted to know where he was going, but for some reason I didn't dare ask. The boys were letting out tension. They felt the need to let it out. I couldn't blame it. Sadly the door wouldn't keep the noise out, like it should have.

Faith and I sat in Jack's room with one bottle of white whine. We tried to just stay away from the drunken maniacs. We decided to have some alcohol, but not to much. We weren't _completely _drinking away our sorrows. Yes, we had wasted money on it... It was worth it. I took another sip of my whine.

There was a loud shout and a crash outside.

"I think the guys outside have to shut up!" Faith screamed.

Of corse the boys didn't care. Faith's glass was nearly finished.

"More whine?" I asked.

"What do you think?"

I grabbed the whine bottle and pored her some more. Faith stared at it for a moment.

"You know we spent a lot of money on this." She said.

"Of corse."

Faith shrugged and took another swig.

"I fear," Faith began after a short pause. "that we may be trampled by the drunken boys if we go outside."

I laughed, "You're probably right. I don't want to die tonight."

"Let's just stay in this room."

I looked over at the bottle of whine, it still had a fair sum of the the liquid left.

"You know," Faith sighed. "I think that we're all going to go insane."

I looked at her with a curious expression.

"Faith what are you talking about?" I asked.

"I think if we stay the way we've been for the the last few days, we are going to go insane."

I nodded.

"This isn't the way the boys and I usually act. I think you know that, but still." Faith went on.

"Don't worry, I know. It's been tough for us all."

As I stared down at the liquid in the glass I realized I never expected to be drowning my sorrows in booze. Forget that earlier I said we weren't drowning our sorrows, we were. Well, that didn't matter anyway. When I'd thought that it had been a different life. That life was dead and gone, it should be erased from my memory. Sadly that just isn't possible.

Oh hell, what did it matter? What did it lead up to in the long run? Experience? I'm still unsure. I suppose we all can't have out answers.

There was a knock at the door.

"I'm scared to open it." Faith murmured.

"I'm not." I smirked.

"Well, if you're going to give me no choice."

Faith stood she grabbed the wine bottle and took a heavy drink from it. She raised her eyebrows as she did, as if she was saying "Well if you're going to make me open the door, how's that?". I didn't give a damn if somebody drank from the same bottle as me. I couldn't care less about some things. Faith opened the door to reveal a drunkard Mush, who swayed slightly from side to side.

"Hey you guys..." He said, speaking in undertone. "We're, uh, we're going out. You guys can come. Do you want to?"

Faith looked back at me and shrugged.

"What do you think?" She asked.

"That depends, where are they going?"

Faith and I looked back at Mush.

"I don't know, we're going out. We're going _out._ I don't know where, but it's somewhere." He explained.

She looked back at me again,"Well?"

"It's extremely unspecific." I answered.

"Alright then," She said. "no it is."

Mush nodded and walked away. Faith shut the door. She sat next to me and stared at the door.

"No!" She said suddenly. "We're going out! _We are going out._"

Faith threw her hands up and stood. She sighed.

"I can't stay inside any longer." She hissed.

I stared at her for a moment.

"Where are we g-" I started.

"Don't ask. We're going somewhere with the boys." She hissed.

She grabbed the bottle of whine and drank heavily again.

"Let's go, move your ass." She shouted as she turned and walked towards the door.

"She's drunk now, isn't she?" I murmured to my self.

I stood up and followed her as she walked out.


	25. Chapter 25 Steeplechase

**You all hate me, don't you? In New York (where I live) we just finished our school testing. I'll be able to post on a weekly basis now, I'm serious this time.**

* * *

"Can somebody please tell me where we're going?" I hissed as we walked.

In the middle of Manhattan with a bunch of drunkard boys. Couldn't we at least do something other than walk around one of the most populated cities in the world with the smell of liquor on our breaths?

"I asked a question!" I shouted.

Nobody even turned their head. I sighed. Dear god I need an answer.

"Christ..." I murmured under my breath.

They were probably so tired of me asking this constantly.

The air of New York had a light breeze to it. A warm night, no gruesome heat in the air or murderous cold. It was simply a nice night, but for me I could feel murderous heat under my skin, in my cheeks mostly.

_You are not the rich girl you once were. That was a long time ago now. It doesn't matter, it shouldn't matter. _Those were the words in my mind... I knew the truth of these words. It shouldn't matter, but it did. It just did and I didn't know why. I breathed a depressed sighed.

As we walked I noticed the street lights being lit. I watched in silence. They didn't notice me, I decided it was best to keep it that way. It's best to stay without anyone knowing you're there sometimes, you know? Maybe it wasn't just that, maybe I just didn't want to be seen. I'm not really sure, but I stood out of sight and watched. A boy (maybe seven) was setting the gas lamp and lighting the fame, which (hopefully) would burn through the night. My eyes shifted from the everyday lantern to the boy. He was scrawny, but so were the newsies and I. He was barefooted and his feet were the color of charcoal. He was no richer than the rest of us.

I turned to find that the group had been able to walk quite a feat while I'd watched. I scurried to catch up.

"Where are we going?" Faiths voice screeched, bracking that oh so delicate silence.

Unlike I who was never answered at all she was answered with Mush turning to her and mumbling, "Meh." She gave him an odd look. Her face contorted into one that simply screamed: _"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"_.

Once we reached some random point Race let out a deranged cry, "Got an idea, got an idea, _got an idea_!"

"Thank god." I said beneath my breath. Perhaps we could get the night over faster this way. Race paused for a moment. Oh dear god tell me he didn't forget. I would have gone back to the boarding house... I would have if I knew where I was. The boys smelled of booze and once we stayed in one place the repellent sent began to fill the air, causing me to feel the urge to vomit.

"Get on with it!" I screamed from the back.

"Alright, Jesus!" Racetrack hissed.

He sighed, obviously frustrated by me (I was frustrated as well).

"Now I was thinking, we'se all been in a funk for the last... I don't even know for how long..." His words were slurred, which somehow made his accent thicker (don't ask me how). "I say, we go to Coney Island huh?"

The crowd cheered in response, I knew that Faith wasn't cheering with them. Honestly, I didn't want to go to Brooklyn either. I didn't want to go for multiple reasons, I didn't want to think of Spot, I didn't want to see a depressed Faith (or an even more depressed Faith technically) and I knew the boys were going to do something stupid while we were there.

Well, I couldn't exactly protest against a mob of drunkard young men, so on we went. I noticed Faith staring at the ground, she looked mostly composed. Faith being tranquil was a blessing to us both.

By the time we reached the gates I think a half hour had passed. That half hour was simply walking, I don't think you're very interested in each small detail that of this dull walk. Well anyway, we reached coney and at the time there were three parks, Luna Park, Dreamland (which had just opened in that year, if I remember correctly) and Steeplechase (which also owned the famous hose races that Racetrack would attend everyday, hence his name). Of corse there was an argument on which park to go into Race chose Steeplechase (I know you never expected it), I think Mush and some others wanted Luna, and a few others wanted to try Dreamland, because they'd never been there. In the end we went to Steeplechase, I'm glad that we didn't go to Dreamland, because I heard some people died on a ride there, Dreamland also went bankrupt a few years later, then burned down in a fire in 1911, ten years after we stood at the front gate.

We went on all of the rides, each were original and interesting. Mush and Blink would not stop with their obnoxious blathering about the fact that we didn't go to Luna, this was really starting to piss everyone off. Racetrack said that if they wanted to keep going on about it than they could leave. That shut then up real fast.

While Race and I waited on a ride I could feel my heart pounding and an intense feeling of fear and vertigo, because the harnesses didn't look safe enough for me.

"Hey Race how many times have you been on this ride?" I croaked.

"Over a million, why?" He asked turning to me.

"No reason, just curiosity."

"See that is a reason, so you can't say no reason." He pointed his cigar at me.

"You're drunk, just shut up. I've stopped trusting your judgement at this point." I joked.

He snickered and nudged me.

"Not that drunk." He protested.

"You didn't even say I'm in front of that. Your grammar is so off, you cannot even remember things you learned at age two, _two_."

"Well un-unlike _some _people, I didn't go to school."

"It was the word I'm Race, that's all I'm saying." I smirked.

The ride was the most infamous of rides in that amusement park, it was the Steeplechase horse ride, which was basically a simulation of a horse race. Since Race and I were going on together we both had the same horse. I held on to the poor boy for dear life.

"You're chocking me!" He whispered, just before the ride started.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it!"

The ride began, as soon as the thing began to move I screamed like a child that lost it's ice cream cone. I'm pretty sure I nearly smothered Race. Once we got off the ride I had a few tears in my eyes. From all the movement Racetrack vomited behind some bushes.


	26. Chapter 26

I heard the door open and I turned in my bed to be able to see.

"Jack, where the hell were you?" I hissed. "What time is it anyway?"

"Sorry, I went out and it took longer than I expected. It's about three, I think."

"Three in the morning? Give me a good excuse as to why you're coming home at three in the morning!"

"I don't know," He shrugged. "I'm sorry"

I laid back on the bed, my head had just grazed the backboard on the way down. I sighed, "Just get in the bed, Jack. It's too late and I'm two tired to go back and forth about anything." Jack did as he was told and I turned over in bed, I didn't even want to see him. ]

The boy had infuriated me that night. I'd spent several hours waiting for him in our room, while everyone else snored ever so peacefully. Finally after a few hours I'd given up and collapsed on my bed (note that I was extremely angry then as well). I closed my eyes and sighed again .

"You seem pretty upse-" Jack started.

"_Yes_!" I hissed.

"Okay... Calm down."

I sighed, "Yes, I'm upset because y-you... I can't even right now, Jack."

"Alright, look I'm sorry. I know I should have been home earlier."

"Well you missed out on Coney Island, so _ha!_"

"I can go there at any time, Maria."

There was a pause of a flustered tension. I heard Jack groan. He rolled over and wrapped an arm around me and nuzzled his face against my cheek.

"Still love me, don't you?" He whispered.

I smiled, giving up.

"Yes, I still love you."

He kissed my temple.

"I'm coming home earlier next time. I love you too."

He rolled over ready to get to sleep. I turned to look at him.

"Where were you tonight?" I asked.

"I just went out to the bar with some friends. I only had one drink, so it was nothing too crazy."

"Sure about that?"

"Sure about that. Happy honey?"

"Yes, I'm very happy."I kissed his cheek and whispered, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I fell asleep within a few minutes. I woke late and there was a note on the pillow besides me.

_Whent out early. Sleep in late OK? I love you! _

_-Jack_

The first thing I noticed was went was spelled wrong and there was no comma next to late, but I pushed that out of my mind. It was sweet, very sweet. Not only was it sweet, it was slightly annoying. I was saving money now for god's sake. I ran my fingers through the mess that was my hair, pushing it back from my eyes. I sighed and smiled.

I did a morning stretch and began to get ready as if I was getting ready for work. It's so eerie to be alone in a place like the boarding house, because people are supposed to be there at all times. Yet here it is empty, hollow.

I couldn't help when in the washroom to look into the mirror. My figure was now remarkably thin to an unhealthy degree. My bones now showed through my skin (you could count my ribs... fabulous). My hair was matted to the point where it would hurt to put a brush through it. I was an absolute mess. I sighed. After a few attempts of making myself look more presentable (all which failed by the way), I gave up.

I heard the door open, scaring me a little bit.

"Kloppma-" I started.

"Save your breath honey, it's me."I heard.

Racetracks voice is completely unmistakeable. I didn't see him, but I heard his footsteps.

"What brings you back so early?" I asked.

"Left some of my money be-"

"Gambling, huh Race?"

He laughed slightly.

"Actually you're wrong about that."

"Really? I am shocked."

"Well good for you."

I'd never noticed before, but I had the slightest of ascents now. I peaked my head out from the washroom. Race was checking his other pair of pants.

"What's it for than?" I asked curiously.

He shrugged in response.

"Betting on horses?" I smirked.

"Nope... Other things."

"What other things?" I pressed.

"_Other things._"

I looked at him with a questionable look.

"I'm a newsie too." I said.

"Honey, it's complex."

"Since when am I honey?"

He smirked and shrugged.

"_Porcelain_, I've got to be on my way." He told me.

"Come on!" I protested, folding my arms across my chest and pouting, childishly.

He opened his mouth as if he was about to speak, but than closed it. What was he about to say?

"Race what's going on?"


	27. Chapter 27 Maze

"How much is it?" I asked, rummaging through my draw for pocket change.

"All together?" Jack asked as he loomed behind me. He hung behind me as if he were a vulture in a way. I couldn't blame him, that was the way I must have looked as I searched the draw.

"Yes, all together."

"35 dollars."

I halted for a moment. How were we supposed to pull that together in the amount of time we had? I sighed as I pulled out what I had.

"I've got one dollar." I murmured.

I felt a twinge of embarrassment at the low amount. I held up the earning.

"_One?_" Jack hissed. "What the hell have been spe-"

"Well I'm sorry I actually eat. Maybe if I'd been told about you going out and selling late at night I'd have more!" I shouted.

He let out a low snarl.

"That's so mature! I'm trying to help." I rolled my eyes.

"Oh yeah, one dollar helps a lot."

"You could have told me and Faith about this. She's grieving and you-"

"I didn't want to bother you or her."

"Just take the dollar and try to raise it towards the medicine!"

He snatched it from my hand and was out the door with in a fraction of a second. I was left in the room, my arm was still raise, my hand was left clutching the air where the bill had just been. I blinked taking in the moment. At least he hadn't slammed the door, than the world would have known about our little spat. I sighed and let my hand fall from above my head. I knew all I had to do was keep myself composed and collected. It was much easier to do that knowing that this event would most likely blow over with in a day or so. _It would just go away. _I flattened out my skirt and fixed my sleeves. The event was over now, the show was finished.

The way he loomed over me was a grim reminder of my past and gives me a cold chill. I was unsure of why this "outburst" had even happened. I'd thought Jack might think about what had happened to the both of us in our pasts and that would restrain him. Obviously you can see what I'd thought did not happen.

How loud had we been? Loud enough for the boys to hear? I was unsure. Although I'd tried to push it all out of my mind I was still wringing my boney hands and chewing my lower lips.

_By the end of it all, we'd never have what we needed._

The feeling of knowing what you must do sometimes is almost as painful as ripping flesh, but you _must. _That was a horror as the knowing dawned on me. Momentarily I hung my head and clamped my eyes closed. Yes, I knew what had to be done, yet I stood staling. Wasting precious seconds in hopes that I could calm my now unhealthily small frame. Perhaps in a better state of mind my thinking would be less fogged and more coherent.

The rest of the day is mostly a hazy memory to me. I shall summarize it to my best ability. I recall being a bit scornful on that day out of my poor minds frustration. I can also recall being rather depressed. I swung between these moods like a restless child (does it sound as horrifying to me as it does to you? I must have tortured those poor boys). I found mostly distain or sadness in all things. That day still stood as some black chasm to me.

The night was the most awkward event that had happened to me in the boarding house. Jack had decided that now that I knew about him going out for money to save Spot, he could go out more freely (as if the majority of every night wasn't enough freedom already). So I was alone again, through the night. Alone, I was left to think of that days events. Note that I didn't find what he was doing cruel, he wasn't trying to be cruel what so ever. It was just that I was so... How can words even explain? I was so lost in the mist of it all. It was like a maze; a cold harsh maze of emotions and people. _I was more than lost in it. _Dead ends and intersecting walls. I can't say I wasn't angry at him though. It was a unless anger, really. I felt a bit betrayed by his actions. I thought he should be home talking to me, comforting me. It's extremely selfish, I know. It was all about me, me, me ,me, me, _me. _Everyone was under an extreme amount of pressure.


End file.
